by Raye Hodgson

Created on: February 12, 2009   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

Watch a baby for several minutes. Watch a toddler.
What are they paying attention to?
Whether it is a parent, a butterfly, or their fingers, these little ones are completely absorbed in the moment, in what is happening right now. Are you? How much time do you spend worrying about tomorrow instead of living today?

As we grow from a child who only knows the present to an adult who can comprehend abstract ideas and the concepts of past and future, our parents and teachers increasingly urge us to look ahead. A parent reminds a child to get ready for bed, because tomorrow is a school day. Parents and teachers tell children, "if you want (fill in the blank), then you have to (fill in the blank) now." The "if then" could be something as short term as ice cream after dinner if the child helps set the table. Or it could be something as far away as college, or even medical school, if the child makes good grades.

That focus on the future can begin to virtually fill up our thought life. We become so obsessed with the future and our desire to control it that we lose the opportunity of experiencing what is happening right now. Thinking almost exclusively of the future can fill us with anxiety, since there are so many possibilities, many of them negative, and we feel we must constantly decide what to do about them, even though most of these possibilities never occur.

My mother called it borrowing trouble.

Right now is, truly, all that any of us have. Tomorrow does not yet exist. Tomorrow brings blessings and difficulties that we could not have imagined.

Mickey Rivers once said that we should not worry about what we have control over because we have control over it, and that we should not worry about what we don't have control over because we don't have control over it. Tomorrow is largely in the second category. While we have control over what we do today to take care of ourselves, much of what tomorrow brings cannot be controlled.

Certainly we can work to stay healthy, make some basic preparations for emergencies (such as having flashlights and first aid kits and perhaps some extra food in the house, water and a blanket in the car), set aside some savings, and develop strong, loving relationships. All of these things can help us avoid and deal with difficulties, should they arise.

In large part, it is those strong, loving relationships that will carry us through whatever comes our way tomorrow, or next week, or next year. They provide much of the joy that we can experience when we are living in the present moment. And to nurture those relationships, we need to pay attention to our loved ones in each present moment.

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