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For many people, a cancelled wedding is on their top 10 list of "Things I never want to go through". Whether you cancelled the wedding or your betrothed did, coping with a cancelled wedding can be one of life's greatest disappointments. For many couples, it feels like a breakup to the tenth power.

While each couple will cope with a cancelled wedding differently, there are some key steps that can help couples move from heartache to healing.

1. Make the necessary arrangements. At a time like this, most couples don't want to think about the practical aspects of cancelling a wedding. However, depending on when the wedding was cancelled (weeks, days, or hours before the ceremony), certain arrangements will need to be made. First and foremost, guests need to be alerted that the wedding will not take place. Alerting guests can be done through phone calls or a simple letter. This kind of task can be delegated to bridesmaids and/or the couple's parents so the couple doesn't have to face the questions that will undoubtedly arise.

Second, the couple needs to cancel their reservations for the wedding site, reception, and honeymoon, as well vendors including the photographer, caterer, florist, cake baker, etc. Depending on when the wedding is cancelled, a portion of the costs could be recouped.

Third, the couple needs to return all wedding gifts received (unless the gift giver insists that you keep his or her gift).

2. Lean on your support network, including the wedding party. Couples should seek support from their bridesmaids and bridegrooms, whether it's alerting people about the cancelled wedding or crying on their shoulder. Many times couples will want to avoid interaction with people due to embarrassment. Decide who you can trust, and don't be afraid to seek support from those people.

3. Don't try to determine the future of your relationship. After cancelling their wedding, many couples try to figure out whether or not they should completely call it quits. Due to the heightened stress around the wedding, this may not be the best time to make such an important decision. Give yourself time to decide why the wedding was cancelled (was it simply the wrong time?) and go from there.

4. Commemorate the day you would have been married (if desired). How the couple chooses to spend that day is a personal decision.

5. Grieve the loss. After the fanfare has died off and you move on with your life, let yourself continue to grieve this huge loss. Try not to be judgmental of any feelings that may come up (relief, joy, contentment, anger). It is natural to feel any and all of those things about your cancelled wedding.

Whether it's the wrong time or the wrong person, a cancelled wedding does not make you a failure. Following your heart and drawing on the support of your friends, you will hopefully emerge from this experience knowing a little more about yourself and your loved ones.

Learn more about this author, Kristen M. Anderson.
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