by Dan Greenland

Created on: February 12, 2009   Last Updated: February 19, 2009

In a society where more than 50% of marriages end in divorce the thought of there being such a thing as sole mates, though very enticing, is incorrect and damaging. The thought of a sole mate conjures up images of the perfect relationship. Two people meet, fall in love almost immediately, get married, and life happily ever after. No relationship from the beginning of time has ever lived "happily ever after" from its inception. Everyone on earth is different, there is no way that two people can live together for an extended period of time and not have disagreements, arguments, and even fights.

Too many people use this notion of a sole mate to end their relationships. They think, "I thought he/she was my sole mate but obviously I was wrong, we have too many differences." Marriage is not an institution that is ever flawless. Successful partners understand that there are going to be differences and the only way for their marriage to succeed is to work through their problems. Our country's divorce rate would be much lower if couples were willing to work through problems instead of just throwing in the towel.

Although the notion of a sole mate can be damaging, there are many more convincing reasons to not believe in them. If you believe in a sole mate you must also believe in a higher power that is going to place you and your sole mate in the same place, at the same time, and at the right time for both parties to be open to starting a relationship. By the law of statistics alone, this is generally impossible. But God is all knowing and all powerful, he can work out this impossibility, right? Most of the time this is wrong. God may be all knowing and all powerful but he has given each person on earth the ability to choose their own destiny. God does not make our decisions for us.

Many young people make terrible decisions and end up dead or in a situation that would not allow them to find this sole mate. So what would happen to their sole mate if they were not available. Would it be that person's fate to walk the earth alone for their whole life? Or would they find another...if their sole mate died, and they found someone else, whose sole mate did they steal? As you consider more situations like this it gets very complicated. How could there be one sole mate for each person on earth?

The notion that only one person on this earth could make someone happy is absurd. Rather, there are probably a few hundred people who are capable of making each of us happy. The statistics on this are much more acceptable and reasonable. But whether you find your "sole mate" or not, you cannot be happy with any partner unless both partners agree to work through their problems and accept their differences.

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