by David Brown

Created on: February 12, 2009

The fear of being loved is real. There is more than one explanation and for some it can be a downright phobia of some kind. Placing fear and love in the same sentence gives a whole new meaning to the discussion because it is scary in some instances, and in others, it can be a most wonderful feeling. To tell someone that you love them may be an easy thing, but sometimes when it comes time to tell someone that you love them, fear can strike and you want to just cry because you have no real explanation as to why you have a problem in saying those century old words.

The two words in this article, "being loved," can mean many different things and then adding the word explanations can add a twist to the entire writing. However, it is also possible to look at the following explanations and hope that they are ones that can be explained away with some form of help.

A first explanation for the fear of being loved is life as an adolescent. It is possible that the individual has gone through a rough and tough childhood. If the individual who wants to be loved and it is discovered that they fear it and turn away, then it is possible that childhood sexual abuse may have taken place. This is one of the worst kind of fears. There are so many cases of childhood sexual abuse, whether it be by the parents of the individual or by a complete stranger, that sometimes later in life, the fear of making love can be very real. This is not only real, but it can most likely be very embarrassing to the individual. Not only the act of making love can be very difficult but even being touched or even a kiss can be very fearful, especially if the individual never received any help after a potential sexual abuse incident.

Another explanation for the fear of being loved is that of leading a sheltered life. Sometimes there are individuals who have never had the ability to even date when they were younger. These same people may not have even had the opportunity to take a date to the high school social because the parents may fear themselves for their child being hurt in some way or another. Not allowing a child in the years of adolescence may lead to a time of fear as they get older.

Anger from any unknown reason or any unknown source can lead to a reason of the fear of being loved. Anger may cause one to fear love from another. This is not a true proven fact, yet, constant anger and stress can cause an individual to not want to be loved in anyway at all. They may fear that their anger can cause a situation of love to turn into something more like violence. This is not a good situation, obviously, but it is a possible explanation for the fear of being loved.

If the fear of love or being loved is getting in the way to a happy relationship with that one special person, then it is possible that there is some hidden reason.

Learn more about this author, David Brown.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.