by R Shimoda

Created on: February 12, 2009   Last Updated: February 13, 2009

I was amused to see this proposed as a topic because for many years it puzzled me. For the sake of human knowledge and letting people sleep and not worry about this, I will share the answer. Are you ready? It's a real ingenious answer that took many hours of thinking and pondering.

This phenomena is very noticeable when heading to places for the first time. The trip out will always be or seem longer because you don't have a clue where you're going. Believe it or not, spending time unfolding maps (not recommended when you're driving around) or taking verbal instructions ("Turn left!", my wife shouts. By the time I can react we've missed the turn) or trying to use them new-fangled GPS receivers.

Once you get to where you're going, the usual reaction is either "Oh, so this is where this place is" or "That wasn't too bad." Unbeknownst to scientists, most humans have a pretty well-developed homing instincts and males and kids seem to have it stronger than women. On the other hand, women have a better idea of where this new place is and seem to rarely get lost. So the return trip home is less stressful and since you are able to retrace your steps home, seems faster.

Having cleared up this mystery of life for the readers, I'd like to pontificate a bit on something that I've noticed on how men navigate versus women. My wife, who is probably one of the most intelligent people I know, can't read a map to save her life and tends to remember how to get to and from places by landmarks. I on the other hand, being male and of average intelligence, tend to be more comfortable with maps and compasses and looking at the sun for directions.

A married couple really find out how strong their marriage is the first time they have to go somewhere they've never been before. We both hop into the car and start on our trip. I'll have the route mapped out (this was before MapQuest and Yahoo Maps) and know which streets and how many miles we need to drive with the key street names as well as the names of the streets before and after. So part way into our trip, I'll ask "So where are we?" My wife will try to shuffle through my notes without speaking for several minutes and say "I have no clue."

"?", as I fly down the freeway. "It should be in the upper right hand section of the map, coming up on Elm." "Where's Elm?" as she continues to figure out which part of the trip we're on. "It's right after Oak but before Chestnut?" "I don't see any of them", she says, "Is this place next to the cake decorating shop in Bellflower?" The What?", I shout because I've never been there before, let alone even been interested in cake decorating.

"Yeah, the little shop next to the place that offers the double layer Pepperoni Pizza." (Now I'm getting alarmed because I have no clue where she's talking about.) "I have no clue where that place is. Is it on Vineyard and Prairie?" She frowns and says, "is that near the Exxon station by the fire station?" By now, I begin to realize that unless I look at my own directions, we'll be in another state soon.

So I find a nice place to pull over and find out the offramp I needed to turn off on, I missed 5 miles back. Mentally growling, I get back into the car and we continue our journey without any more words. A few years later I learned things could get worse...just have a few kids in the back seat who chime out "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And that is why I stay at home and don't go anywhere anymore...

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