by Liz Cosline

Created on: February 12, 2009

We have free speech here and at times that offends when people give their opinions or state there beliefs. However just because someone is stating someone doe not mean it has to be offensive. The offense comes from the listener who needs to remember that some people try to offend to get a reaction. On the other side you do not have to believe what someone says to you and just reject taking it in. But lets looks at being offended. It seems that this is a safeguard against accepting certain behavior whether in teaching that this is unacceptable or in correcting the offensiveness, or at times having quite the debate.

Beliefs can be stated with disagreement but do not have to be offensive. Often the offense comes from the way it is stated instead of the words that are stated. I realize there are offensive words and that's what they are meant to be, but at times it is simply the tone and facial expressions used and not the words. I wonder what the point is to be offensive and I know some just want to get a rise out of people. It stems also from feeling better than someone else if you put another down. But people are not stupid and it is the offender that almost always comes out looking unappreciated and unwanted.

The listener also has a responsibility in this in that it should be realized if the words are offensive or the delivery is offensive. One is not the other. If the delivery is offensive then the problem lies with the way it was stated instead of what was said. ften this is done to encourage people to be dragged into a debate or even a fight. It is my feeling to take a moment and step back and see if a debate is even needed. Funny thing when this occurs, it's hard to know if the person even believes what is being said. It is the heat of the moment or a true belief of the person. That's why it's good to step back and not react right away, taking a moment to gather your own thoughts. If the argument worth it or not?

There are times to argue but I think this should be dome with passion instead of insults or offensive behavior. A good debate oftens teaches both sides something even if it doesn't change beliefs. The offensiveness usually turns both parties off from listening at all. Once that happens a lot of words can be said but not much gets accomplished. I think that getting offended has us get a declaration of what we believe should be. It probably would be worse to never get offended, there just are ways to handle this.

Learn more about this author, Liz Cosline.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.