by Nilofer Ashraff

Created on: February 12, 2009

"You still look the same as you did when you were in secondary school."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe that's why I haven't found a girlfriend yet." My heart ached for a little while when he said those words and it made me feel like I shouldn't have said that he looked the same as before even though a certain amount of years had passed. Then I had an out of my body experince while walking with him. I looked at my own life, looked at the fact that I myself am alone.

"You know, just because we are not part of a couple, doesn't mean that we stop living. Just because we're alone doesn't mean we have to be bothered by it. We do things that we like. listen to music that we like. Let me give you an example. It used to bother me that I didn't have someone who would follow me to see the bands and because of this, I sometimes missed out on concerts that I really liked. Then this band I really loved came down, and there was no one whom I could go with so I made the decision to go alone. It didn't bother me that I was watching it alone, because when i was there, I was one with the music, nothing else mattered. So from now on, whenever i want to go for a concert, I don't hesistate just because I am alone."

"You're ever-inspiring, just like how you were when we were in secondary school."

"I inspired you in secondary school?"

"Yes, with all the talks we used to have."

I smiled as he said those words to me, knowing that it was true. I replayed the words I said to him and realised that I wasn't just saying it to convince the both of us that it is alright to have not found that special someone who makes your heart soar. I truly believe every single word that I said to him. I truly believe that I am not waiting for something great to happen, but that I am making great things happen, even just by myself.

We continued walking, and talked about how we saw ourselves when we were 15, 16. We talked about how we said that by the time we were 18, we wanted to find that special someone. We had a good laugh about that as we walked on. At the end of the night he said, "I had quite a lousy day, but I'm glad I managed to meet you by chance. It made me feel a lot better."

When I reached home, I thought about the word 'inspire'. I thought about the words I said to him, and came to the conclusion that as much as I had inspired my friend, I never inspire myself. I pick myself up whenever I am down. I try to find strength withnin myself whenever I am weak. I read, I write, I inspire.

Well, I think maybe it's time I get inspired by my own thoughts and opinions. Maybe it is time to not only inspire myself, but inspire others. Maybe it's time to give myself a little credit. Maybe I have finally become a somebody and not a nobody.

Now, whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I smile, because I am happy with who I am.

I am someone inspirational.

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