by Anil Machado

Created on: February 11, 2009   Last Updated: February 18, 2009

Marriage has been performed throughout history in several forms, from traditional family arranged agreements to religious priests involvement and until recent years the civil registrations held by the governments by law.

However, its not the agreements or the bond between man and woman that involves acts of intimacy or sex. Marriage has a more significant value on human minds which also decides the future path of happiness, success and peace of mind. Even for those who deviate from original form of marriages between man and woman to the modern same sex relationship have also found one destiny of togetherness which they eventually term as marriage.

One can say "Marriages are made in heaven" or "vow between two individuals in love" or a"sacrament", definition's can be ideas of various people. But ultimately this union of two people doesn't depend on a formula, it doesn't depend upon reading romance novels, in order to achieve the happiness levels. Perhaps we all know that there is nothing called as dream marriage. Indeed this union of marriage requires great level of expressions of love, acts of determination in getting to understand the other, the knowledge of when not to argue when discussions could lead to escalations in quarrel.

We might read several articles in magazines about marriage and see few movies on happy relationships and love. By the time we are back on our own and in reality we are not in a position to act intelligently and give ways to our emotions. Eventually we are never able to keep pace with those superbly scripted movies or novels.

I believe that for an individual to know himself/herself is far more important then before knowing your spouse. By this I have only realised that I know to a higher degree my own strengths and weaknesses and further more I learnt to love and respect myself more. Only then one is able to perceive and understand the actions or feelings of their spouses, but not undermining the respect for the other.

There is a possibility of an individual to do all the understanding, respect, love, emotional contact, intimate pleasure and get into a motion that the individual will look towards himself/herself of being submissive to the spouse or in the worst case a husband might think is he an hen-pecked husband. Apparently this kind of thought is quite natural in individuals who have not assertively fulfilled their obligations in marriage, because one cannot say yes to the spouse at all times.

But yes you need to understand and be judgmental by yourself and disagreeing also, there cannot and can never be a perfect marriage. Subsequently, there cannot be aggression and overpowering with the other in this bonding. This is not a game show of who's going to be the winner, but this is a relationship which is sailing over the oceans and it has to face the storms, tides, currents and waves of it.

The success of happy ever after is only in endeavouring to protect the other with lots of love, compassion, understanding, respect and each time you walk out of your home as a couple the society has to just look at you and learn how married couples ought to be.

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