by David Wilcox

Created on: February 11, 2009

Hi! My name is Bob. This may be a little bit of a surpriser to you, but I'm a log. Yes, yes, I know you probably don't believe me, but I'm actually a piece of wood from a used to be, great and marvelous tree. Right now I'm in a humans house, piled amongst my former parts, next to this black box thats generating a heck of a lot of heat. You're probably wondering how this came about, I mean what's a country tree like me doing here? Well, here's my story.

Once upon a time I was looking across the amazing wilderness on a beautiful winter day, just minding my own business, when I heard something bellow me and upon glancing down saw two little humans standing near my trunk. Humans are quite common to see in my neck of the woods, so I just looked away, expecting them to leave sooner or later. But no. The next thing I knew they had taken out axes and were chopping limbs away from my base. Can you believe that! They were removing layer after layer of clothing from the lower portion of my trunk! After decapitating three or four of my larger pieces of cloth, making me feel quite violated, they took out a noisy saw! Remembering the stories my grandfather had told me about those, sent chills through my rings. Then the humans started cutting into my trunk. I tried desperately to dump large masses of snow on them but it wasn't working. Soon, I felt myself begin to lean toward the earth. NOOO! I screamed as I heard the "crack" of my last life line splinter, and then I hit the ground with an ominously sweeping thud...

That fall must've knocked the sawdust out of me, cause when I awoke, I was on some sort of sled, being pulled along a trail through the forest. I was also only a third of the size I had formerly been, and now all the rest of my cloths were gone, making me look like a stupid pole. Then those indecent humans took me into their butcher yard. I can't remember much of that, and don't ask me to try to remember it either, it was terrible. All I know is that afterwards I was about one hundredth of the size I used to be. They must've shrunk me or something, but anyhow, it was quite painful and very depressing. After that, they loaded me into a bucket along with other "logs" (that's what they called us at least). Then with this bucket device, we were transported into their comfortably warm house, which I am now in.

The humans are all crowded around the black box right now. They've been periodically putting several of my fellow "logs" into it ever since I arrived. It puzzles me how they can fit so many of us into it, I mean it must be cramped in there by now. Boy is it warm though, if I were still standing in the woods and it was this warm I'd probably be getting my spring buds by now. I suppose I'll be going in there soon enough, it's been a terrible adventure so far, all except for this black box thats been keeping me nice and warm. Perhaps it will be splendidly lovely in there, a happy ending for my story. Well I guess I'll wait and see and then tell you all about it, but until then may we both grow long and prosper.

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