by Raquel Arnold

Created on: February 10, 2009

Your days are spent fighting instead of spending quality time together. Your nights are spent giving each other the cold shoulder, instead of sharing your innermost thoughts with one another. Your arguments progress into full-fledged meltdowns, instead of being contained and settled in a civilized manner.

These things, while not the sole reasons why a relationship can become corrupted, play an integral role in nurturing a healthy relationship. The longer the union has been put under distress due to these issues, the harder it is to tolerate your former better half. Yet many of us continue to 'stick it out', to go the extra mile in hopes of making things the way they were again. We hold out because our mind tells us things can be resolved, while our hearts know better.

Why do we fool ourselves and cling to something we know will not better us?

If one were to look in a dictionary, the definition of toxic would most likely be solid and easy to understand; however, it is us as individuals that make the word relative in nature and can cause many problems in how we perceive how troubled a relationship should be in order to end it. This creates an internal dilemma in us; we begin to question our own take on toxic and wonder whose definition is right or wrong.

Another unfortunate component of an unhealthy relationship is the actual fear of leaving. Perhaps someone has been in a relationship for years: suddenly ending it would seem like a waste of invested time, energy and devotion. It is not easy to build a solid foundation, and even harder to start from scratch. Then again, what does having a foundation count for if it could crumble on a moment's notice?

Letting your mate go does not mean time spent was for naught. Allowing yourself to be reasonable and see the situation with a clear head may seem like an impossibility at times but we are capable of taking off those rose-colored glasses to see the relationship for what it is. Being truthful to ourselves is something we need in order to move on and acquire something better.

So how do you end a toxic relationship? It's quite simple. If you are happier away from the person on a daily basis than you are around them, it's time to call it quits. It is of no fault of your own or your partner's own; the both of you have simply grown apart and should seek something long-lasting. It shows why the word toxic has little to do with one's own definition or thoughts - it's how we feel.

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