by Kristen M. Anderson

Created on: February 10, 2009   Last Updated: February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, the day we expect to see a plethora of red roses, chocolates, and greeting cards focused on love.

When you stop to think about it, expectations are often at the heart of our enjoyment of Valentine's Day. For example, if you expect to receive flowers from your husband and don't receive them, the holiday could be less than happy. Conversely, when you surprise a single friend with a card and a flower, this unexpected act of kindness may make her Valentine's Day truly special.

Managing expectations is important in life, and especially on the day dedicated to love. The following tips can help set the stage for a memorable and happy Valentine's Day that exceeds your expectations.

1. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends: Be honest with each other about how you would like to celebrate Valentine's Day. Ladies, if receiving a dozen red roses would truly touch your heart, it's not selfish to share this desire with your partner. Guys, if you want one uninterrupted hour with your wife, ask her to write that into her schedule.

2. Try not to let your expectations dictate your enjoyment of the day or your love for your partner. If for some reason your partner is unable to meet your request or forgets it, don't send him or her to the dog house. The point of Valentine's Day is to show your love for your partner. Remember, he or she probably does hundreds of things to show his or her love for you during the other 364 days of the year.

3. Look at the value behind your partner's desire to spend the day. Does your wife cherish receiving sappy greeting cards with a loving inscription from you? She most likely values positive affirmation and praise from you rather than an expensive gift. Does your husband want to spend Valentine's Day at a remote destination? He may need time alone with you on a regular basis.

4. Do the unexpected. Don't be afraid to divert from the standard flowers and chocolates. Consider what your partner really likes, and come up with a gift that's truly unique and personalized for your Valentine.

5. Make sure your expectations can be filled. If your wife would like to eat at the new Italian restaurant in town, make reservations well in advance.

6. Surprise the singles in your life with a Valentine's Day treat. Valentine's Day need not be celebrated only by couples in love. To make this holiday less dismal for singles, send them a homemade greeting card or surprise them with a cappuccino. Your unexpected thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

7. Celebrate love for your family members. While typically focused on romantic love, Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to tell your children, parents, grandmother, aunts, and uncles that you love them.

8. Consider ways to carry Valentine's Day into the rest of the year. Don't let Valentine's Day become the one day you express love to your partner.

Managing expectations on Valentine's Day can be a challenge. Learn how to do it well, and you can expect to enjoy a happy Valentine's Day to remember.

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