by Kristen M. Anderson

Created on: February 10, 2009   Last Updated: October 17, 2009

She can't stand his pool table and dartboard and he hates potpourri and smelly candles. Blending "his" and "her" decorating styles in a new home can test even the most solid relationship. How can newlyweds effectively merge their personal styles and still like each other when the decorating is done?

Following a few practical do's and don'ts, couples can create the home of their dreams and build a strong foundation for their marriage in the process.

* Don't call in the moving truck the first week you're in your new home. Your spouse will surely not appreciate having his/her belongings carted off in such a fashion. This is particularly problematic for couples who married "later in life" and have lived on their own for a while.

* Do be sensitive in how you treat your spouse's belongings. If you really hate his Budweiser poster, coffee table, and lava lamp, you might gently approach your spouse about "relocating" one of those items. (It's best not to bring up everything you hate all at once.)

* Don't throw away your spouse's belongings.

* Do gauge the emotional connection your spouse has with an item. He may not give a rip if you throw away a futon comforter he purchased in 1986, but may want to keep the bookshelf he made when he was ten years old. Compromise and sensitivity are critical when furnishing your new home.

* Don't relegate all of your spouse's belongings to one room in the house. You may think you're being altruistic by letting her keep all of her stuffed animals, but she may end up feeling isolated in the home. Of course, your spouse may enjoy having all of his sports memorabilia in one room. The point is to find out what your spouse values and to respectfully incorporate his/her input into the decorating effort.

* Do look for similarities in your individual decorating styles. She may like flowers and he may like rustic colors. These two styles can blend beautifully in a shared space like the living room or bedroom.

* Don't make major purchases without your spouse's input.

* Do shop together and look for items that you both like. Many newlyweds are surprised to learn that they like a similar style, which may actually be very different than what they enjoyed when they were single.

Newlyweds learn a lot about each other when they decorate a home, both about personal tastes and what each spouse values. Balancing honesty with mutual respect, couples can build the home of their dreams that incorporates each person's style and tastes.

Learn more about this author, Kristen M. Anderson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.