Deciding on whether or not to write on this topic was quite tricky. There are really two main questions that one must ask themselves in order to understand the depths of racism. The first question is - are you a racist...unfortunately, I am. The second question will answer how deeply that racism feeds into every day life - do you discriminate...NO...no I do not. Although I can be considered a racist, it's not something that dictates how I live my life. I don't walk around thinking that I'm better than anyone. I don't cross the street when someone of another race is walking towards me. I'm courteous and polite...I will converse with anyone...I become judgmental only when stuck in a situation where I should be.
To consider someone a racist, it's important to understand that there are many different levels of racism. We are not all the same...we hate for different reasons. Maybe hate is a strong word to use in this, but it's to the point. There are many times that I can be considered a racist towards my own race. There are a lot of us that can be called racists simply because that's the way we were raised. I'm not using that as an excuse or a reason. It's just a simple explanation. My entire family was extremely racist when I was growing up. I eventually turned out the same way. It's something that may change throughout my life...it also might never change. As for me, I like who I am...and I choose to like others for who they are.
Here's something that caught me off guard...it happened the other day. My mother has always been one of the most racist people I've ever known. We were on the phone and she brought up this exact topic. She no longer is racist...never thought I'd see that coming! She used to be so bad with it that she wouldn't be caught in the same room with another race...if she didn't have to be. My racism never controlled my life to that extent. For some reason, it's like she outgrew it. I'm not saying that it's like an allergy or something...I'm just saying, she no longer hates people based on the color of their skin. Maybe it has to do from living in Arizona for the past 14 years...she's the minority out there.
I'm not going to sit here and tell anyone that it's okay to be racist...I don't believe it is. As for me, it's who I am and I've accepted that. It doesn't control my life...it doesn't affect my job...and I sleep just fine at night. If there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I would never do anything to harm someone that is of a different race than I am. They are free to live their lives just as I am free to live mine. We have succeeded at coexisting so far without any major instances...so it's time to leave well enough alone. My one hope is that you will not judge who I am simply because I'm a racist...for if you do that, it only makes you a racist yourself.