by Savannah White

Created on: February 10, 2009

You've been planning birthday parties for your child for a dozen years. You're an expert. You know your child, in most ways, better than the child knows himself. Now, all of a sudden, those adorable kid parties he loved so much are, "not cool." Your sweet baby is in middle school and tells you he is not a baby anymore. He's growing up and wants a birthday party to reflect that. What's a parent to do?

The first thing you must do is realize there is no way to stop your child from aging. Then, accept the fact that your child is willingly, and excitedly, heading toward adulthood. Now, adjust your thinking and start planning.

It would help if you could remember what you were like in middle school, those years when puberty kicked in and your body started changing. In fact, everything changed. Life was great and difficult at the same time. That is what your young one is going through right now, so keep that in mind and don't be offended when he rejects your idea to have a clown or a piata at the party.

So, how do you go about this new grown up party stuff, especially when you and your middle school child are starting to speak different languages and live in different worlds? His English has the same words as your English, but the meanings are not the same. His words don't make sense to you and your words don't sound right to him. Plus, he thinks most of your ideas are nowhere near cool. The good news is that if you just ask, he will tell you what he wants.

Ask plenty of questions, general and specific. Where would you like the party to be held? What kind of decorations do you want, if any? What about the food? Who gets an invitation? His younger cousins may be some of his favorite people, but they might be too young for his middle school party. Take care of that issue ahead of time so there are no hurt feelings. It will also help your child if you get the blame for anyone not invited to the party.

Now, the biggest question of all to ask your child is, of course, what type of party he wants. Does he want to have a theme, like a celebrity or Hollywood party? Does he want to just have space to dance and socialize? Would he rather take a group of friends to a place where they play paint ball or some other game? There are numerous options, but the key is to ask the child. His opinion is the most important thing. Once you know the basics, just use those same party planning skills you have honed over the past decade to make the party fantastic!

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