by Ascencion Torres

Created on: February 10, 2009

My wife and I are a racially mixed couple that were unable to have biological children. We had known this since the days we were dating and decided that adoption would be the option for us, besides our own personal convictions fit well into our personal dilema. We had adopted our oldest daughter through an open adoption process, that is we were interviewed and select by the birth parents. The remainder of our five children were adopted through the county and proved to be a tremendous blessing, due in part to the wonderful case worker we had assigned to us.

My wife is White and comes from Tennessee. I am Mexican/Native American and come from California. Our children for the most part seem to reflect our racial background, that is our two sons are hispanic and two of our daughters are primarily white, our middle daughter how ever is African American. thier ages range from 7 to 23 years old. We find ourselves dealing with race on at least two fronts. One of them being my wife's and my own heritage and how they are adopted or incorperated into our childrens personal history. My sons use the analogy of Hawkeye in the last of he Mohicans and how although he was white,he was raised the son Uncas of the Mohican tribe. They seem willing and eager to adopt our race as theirs, and still there is lingering question of what am I and where do I come from. They do not obsess over it, but it certainly comes up from time to time in our discussions. While we have no pat answer to their questions we do offer them the best information we can make available and in an age appropriate manner. The most reassuring thing we can tell them is that just as they have been adopted, so have My wife and I. We would have never been parents, unless we were adopted also.

The second source of racial diffeence is encountered when we are in public settings. While most people are not insensitive or intentionally intrusive, we do get our share of questioning looks and well meaning smiles.This is most noticeble concerning our middle daughter, who is of African American descent. People figure that we are a blended family perhaps, after a previous marriage and that explains the brown kids and the white kids, and that perhaps, from generosity of spirit we had adopted one black child. When neccessary or appropriate we will explain that we are all adopted and that we have been married to each other for 30 years. People are quick to congradulate us and heap praise upon us for our virtuous actions. Usally

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