by Melinda Barr

Created on: February 09, 2009

There is far too much judgment of others going on in our world today. We see it in the playgrounds at school, in the classroom and in our work environments. To judge someone should not be a part of our purpose in life.

To some, the jump to judgment has become somewhat of a national sport. How do we, with good moral conscious, believe ourselves capable of such an act? What qualifies us? And more importantly, why would we want to? Why can't we celebrate and respect our differences and maintain a civil society?

We judge people on the size of their bank accounts and their position in life. We judge on what they are wearing, and on the stores they shop in. We judge single parenting, home schooling and other such activities with nary a clue of what we speak. In fact, in many instances, we have become almost "programmed" toward judging others. Frequently I have heard comments where I am sure the person speaking had their mouth in gear long before the brain kicked in.

As the years go by, it seems the judgments and sometimes "bashing" is getting more heated and more caustic. Why then are we so eager and readily available to judge others? Have we become so hardened as a nation that it is now easier for us to put down another, than it is for us to take the time to get to home? Might it be that we lack either the courage or the faith to look inward first? Is it that our own morals and ethics are above reproach? Or is it that we have taken the high road and the easy way out?

My grandfather used to say, "Spend time in your own back yard, little girl, lest you wander astray."

What we should do however, is discern for ourselves the character of another; such as in the case of a mother hiring a day care provider for her children. This isn't a judgment. This is taking time to learn and discuss the person's moral values, ethics and beliefs. That doesn't mean we judge the person, it's merely ensuring that their values and beliefs are suited to our own. This should never involve race, gender, and the like. We should always get to know the character of people we choose to keep close in our lives. We can have differences, and still appreciate each other for the human beings that we are.

Be assured within yourself that your own house is in order. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Be kind to people in life for you know nothing of the hardships or traumas they might have faced or are currently facing. You don't know how they were raised / taught, and what moral compass guides them. Be kind to your neighbor, and chances are good that he will be kind to you. We are allowed our own opinions and beliefs; that doesn't make us better, it merely makes us different.

Should you happen upon a toxic or dangerous personality, simply do not rent them space in your heart or your head. Life is too short, and we have plenty of living and loving on our own plates to keep us busy.

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