by Priya Kanwar

Created on: February 09, 2009

How to cope with your child's fears

"Mommy, I am scared." Says your three-year-old child. What do you do? When your child begins to express fear, you may think that something is wrong, but psychologists and child specialists say childhood fears are all a natural part of growing up.

It is important that you help your children learn to cope with their fears in ways that preserve their dignity and self worth. Help your children to become familiar with the unknown. Their experiences in mastering the unfamiliar will give them the confidence they need to master new things rather than shrinking away from new situations. Here are some useful tips on how to cope with your child's fears.

1) Offer understanding of the fear

and provide helpful information about the feared item or situation. For example, let your child know that you understand that thunder can be scary. Tell your child that dogs bark because that is how they talk or they bark a lot when they are happy to see someone. Explaining about the feared item or situation to children may help them to see it in a different perspective thereby easing away their fear.

2) Read Special Books

Special books that deal with various childhood fears are readily available. Reading such books encourages children to talk about their own fears. Here are three special books written by Mercer Mayer to help children in overcoming their nighttime fears. Try reading these books aloud to your children and afterwards talk about their fears. You may also wish to share a few of your own fears that you had when you were their age.

* There's A Nightmare in My Closet - (A cute children's story about nightmares)
* There's Something in My Attic (A pied Piper book) - (All about things that go bump in the night)
* There's An Alligator under My Bed - (More things that go bump in the night)

3) Do not ever belittle the fear

Parents might be tempted to take the bed apart- to prove no monsters lurk within the house. Do not do it, because, then the child begins to think that there is something there, instead of dispelling the myth and moving on. Do not ever belittle the fear. Children seek reassurance from parents that things will be OK. Parents should be able to communicate that fears are normal and that there are solutions. If, for instance, your child is afraid of the dark, you might say, "Many kids your age develop a fear of the dark. I did and here is how I used to deal with it." Help them develop a sense that they can handle it.

4) Help your children approach

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