There is a simple key to living an easier life which can evoke a state of greater contentment and lasting ease. In fact, there is really only one thing that you have to do and if you can achieve this for yourself, your life will necessarily be transformed.
Now I said that achieving a life which is easier was simple, but I didn't say it would be easy! However if you are willing to commit the effort to this now, and change this one area of your life, you will be reaping the rewards for a long time to come.
One of the main factors which can be the cause of much frustration and discontent in our lives is a habitual tendency to which we all fall victim. That is the tendency to carry and project expectations. We have expectations about the big things in life, how our careers should progress, what our children should do when they grow up, about our status and what kind of house we should have. We also have expectations about the little things in life, how we should look, how people should behave, and how our plants in the garden should grow! In fact most of us are hopelessly infected with the shoulds' virus!
So, now for the antidote to the shoulds'...
From this moment on, let go of all current expectations and following a complete detoxification, don't create any new ones! That's right; drop them all for good. Let go of each and everyone of them, from the hope that your child will get that distinction at Harvard, right down to the expectation that your partner will put out the trash before you get home tonight!
Oh and just in case you are thinking you don't hold any expectations, believe me you do! Remember how you felt when your team lost that game and you sulked for days. And then there was the time the love of your life didn't cook your dinner because a friend from college dropped by that they hadn't seen for years.
So grab pen and paper now. It is exposure time for all those hidden expectations lurking in the recesses of your mind. Start by drawing a line down the middle of the page. On one side list all the expectations you carry about others, the key people in your life. On the other side list all the expectations you carry in relation to yourself. Start with the big expectations and work your way down to the less obvious and more subtle ones. The more subtle variety are like slippery little fish, very difficult to catch but very satisfying when you do.
To gain real benefits from this self inquiry, it is best to give this plenty of time and space. Don't try to rush it. It is better to wait for a space in your schedule where you won't be interrupted.
Now this is where the real work begins; for each expectation on your list, ask yourself a question. How would you feel if it didn't happen? Your answer will show you just how much you are holding on. Can you let it go once and for always? As you begin to let go, you will start to feel your spirit lift. A lighter sense of ease is just around the corner. Don't stop until you have considered each and every expectation. If you don't feel you can totally let go, just mark it. Give it a score of 'letting go', from 1 for still holding on, to 10 for good and gone! Come back to your expectations another time and continue your work of letting go.
Try to catch expectations as they are forming and you will cultivate a very effective way of gaining more control of your mind. You will create an attitude of mind which is less fixed, more spontaneous and open to what arises in the moment. The true key to an easier life is to develop a more flexible and fluid response to what life throws up, an acceptance of things as they are without the imposition of how you think things should be.
If you anchor yourself in an attitude of acceptance, your life will take on a different quality, a more vibrant aliveness which finds expression in joy. This is a natural state of mind which is only obscured by self-made burdens and self-imposed limitations. The reward for your efforts is a freedom and lightness of being. When you can truly accept the notion that there are no givens in life, you may be surprised at what begins to unfold in your life.