by Jacqueline Ham

Created on: February 08, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2009

This subject can be very hard on families who are dealing or have dealt with this type fo disease. My mother went through this with my Dad and being on the outside and watching what she went through was such a sad thing for both Mom and Dad. My dad you see was always a very strong-willed individual and was always in control of the family. Mom was happy taking care of her 9 children and allowing Dad to do what she felt a "man" needs to do, provide for the family, which he did very well.

Six months after my Dad retired, he was diagnosed with parkinson's disease and as this was something not really understood, was so very hard on both. My dad had to struggle as his symptoms became worse at not being able to "take control" as he was so use too, and my Mother had to learn to take the "lead" role within the family. I can remember being at their home and watching my Dad and feeling so helpless at the look in his eyes. It was such a lost, hurt, angry look because he knew "inside his head" what he wanted to say, how he wanted to walk, but his body just wouldn't cooperate with his mind and i can only imagine how hard this was on him. I also watched my Mother struggle with helping my dad who was 6'1 while Mom is only 5'2. When he became worse, he became violent, and unfortunitely it was my Mother who had to try and deal with his temper, which from what i witnessed was his own frustrations at not being able to just walk out into the back yard and do anything at all.

Parkinson's Disease is a disease that hurts so many involved and while technology is advancing, there is still such a long way to go in order to give that individual "dignity" and a longer period of time to adjust with what is going on within their bodys and how this can really hurt them. My Dad would sit down and cry because he couldn't go outside and just mow the yard, to tinker around in his shop that he had worked so hard to get ready for when he retired. It is a heartbreaking thing to watch, and my heart goes out to anyone who has had to deal with this disease, and/or watched someone they loved have to struggle each day just to put on their clothes, or struggle to watch what they eat. Most people have no idea that 'will power" is something that seems to be taken away and the one caring for them, has to watch everything they eat, drink and do so the one with this disease doesn't have more to suffer from, such as high blood pressure, diabetes etc.

My dad passed away in a nursing home just 7 days before his birthday in 2003 and all the family were there with him. I can sit here and tell you that the look on my Dad's face when he passed on was the happiest i have seen him since he was first diagnosed. Mom still has problems with the "what ifs" but who can really say what is the right thing to do? It should be left up to both because a loving couple knows each other better than anyone else, and they should talk about what is to come, how they wish to be treated, where they want to spend the 'worse' times, and who should help so that the other loved one does not suffer as hard as my Mother did.

I praise the doctors who continue to do the research on this disease, and every research team who works on all deadly diseases, because they are not getting better, many more are diagnosed each year, and this in itself leads many families on a road of pain, terror and helplessness.

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