by Shannon S. Harwell

Created on: February 07, 2009   Last Updated: February 11, 2009

When two people decide to bring a child into the world, it is with the understanding that they are accepting full responsibility for the child's support and well-being, whether financially, emotionally, or physically. Supporting children for at least eighteen years isn't an option; it's a requirement. A child never asks to be brought into the world, but once it is here, the decision to become parents binds the parents to ensuring that all the child's needs are covered. After all, every child deserves love, opportunity, and support; and raising a child does take money. One parent's absence never means relinquishment of responsibility. Regardless of whether the non-custodial parent chooses to be an active parent participant, the fact that children need food, shelter, clothing, and health care (at a minimum) comes at a cost.

In today's world of job shortages, inflation, and low wages, it's hard enough for two wage earners to maintain a household. So when divorce leaves a child with only one parent in the home, it's nearly impossible for one income to cover the bare necessities. Extras like sports registration, child care, and entertainment are even tougher to provide singlehandedly. Since parents are equally responsible, it is only fitting that both parents contribute to the costs of raising children. When child support is calculated, the Court takes into account both parents income level and financial obligations compared to the estimated costs of raising the child, then divides the costs on a pro rata share. Custodial parents meet their end by maintaining the household and providing needs, while non-custodial parents meet their share in the form of scheduled payments to help cover these household and needed expenses. This is only fitting since both parents accepted the responsibility upon having children, so why should a split in the adult relationship suddenly cheat a child from having his needs met?

Children need to feel valuable. When both parents participate in the life, as well as the cost, of raising a child, that child knows the parents care. If one parent is absent-whether by choice or by Order-the child feels cheated. The bare minimum that a parent can do is participate in the support of a child. After all, a child can't support himself. If a parent decides to withdraw both presence AND support, the results are devastating for the child. Not only does the child feel deprived of the love and attention he deserves, he also feels a sense of abandonment, which destroys self-esteem. Why on earth would a parent intentionally ruin an innocent child's self-esteem? That child didn't choose the family break-up, so the least parents can do to provide a sense of stability is ensure adequate support is met. Child support payment is the least a child deserves.

Child support is always worth it. It's not worth a contempt charge for withholding child support. It's not worth the aggravation and hassles of continued Court appearances to battle over support. And most importantly, it's not worth ruining a child's feeling of worth by sending the message, "You're worth so little to me that I'm not even going to help support you." Keeping even a minimal amount of attachment by paying child support timely at least sends the child the message, "You are valuable. You mean enough to me that I want to ensure you have everything you need because I love you. You're worth it." Supporting a child, even if only financially, is critical to the child's feeling of importance. Regardless of whether a parent is the absent mother or father, in the end, paying child support is worth more than just a few dollars. It means much more than a dollar in the eyes of a child.

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