by Mark Bukovich

Created on: February 07, 2009

As a fan of both "24" and Chuck Norris in general, I couldn't help myself from dropping in on this silly debate. I was not surprised to see the wide variety of responses on the issue given how ambiguous the question is and the wide variety of viewpoints on the subject. I will first say that Chuck Norris is kind of like a childhood hero to me; my family would gather every Saturday evening to watch Walker Texas Ranger. I might even go so far as to say that he inspired me to take up Karate/Taekwondo. However, for this article I will try to remain as unbiased as possible.

I would like to point out before going on that a serious problem in this question is the fact that it compares a fictional character to a real man. This makes the comparison very awkward. To have a serious discussion, we must either treat Chuck Norris as a fictional character (in which case he would easily defeat Jack Bauer. He can shoot down airplanes by pointing at them and saying, "bang," he can roundhouse kick at the speed of light, and he can run so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head), or we must treat Jack Bauer as a real man in which case he has all the same weaknesses as Chuck Norris.

It also must be pointed out that this question is rather vague. It does not define the particulars of the situation. How will the two combatants be positioned and with what equipment? It is easily possible to put various constraints on either man to ensure the other's triumph. Just imagine if one contestant has to fight with lead weights and chain attached to his wrists and ankles. However, the question does give one important specific about the contest: it is a fight. It is not just combat, war, or "who would be better at killing the other;" it is a fight. What is a fight? A fight is a contest between two parties in which both parties actively try to defeat the other. There is no question about whether a contestant is prepared to defend himself. Other articles have stated that Jack Bauer would be able to assassinate Chuck Norris without any trouble. This is probably true, yes, but it is not a fight and doesn't answer the question. Whatever contest the two men engage in, it must be a fight. Since the question did not indicate that both men will have any weapons, it can adequately be assumed that it is a simple fist fight.

Before looking at the possibility of a fist fight, I would like to address a certain misconception. One article likened this hypothetical encounter

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