by Elizabeth Turner

Created on: January 24, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

First things first! Get educated. Never go into a confrontation with a child (especially a teenager) without doing your homework - and doing it thoroughly. Don't learn one side of the issue and don't use only one book or pamphlet or website. There are many new studies - and more coming out everyday - about marijuana. We know more about it now. To make your child understand WHY you're unhappy with their choice, you have to have some reasonable and fact-based points to make. And don't be afraid of what the media tells you, either. Having smoked myself at one time, I can honestly tell you that some of the commercials I see everyday are not accurate. Marijuana will not make a criminal out of your beloved son or daughter. Mostly, it will make them lazy, boring, unmotivated to do anything. That, in my personal opinion, is where a lot of the danger lies. We want our children to get out in the world and see what it has to offer. We want them to try new things, and see what works for them. And most of all, we want the absolute best for them! If they spend all of their time (and money) smoking pot, there's a chance they may never do much more than that. Of course, this is not the case with all kids. Some kids smoke and still get into Harvard. It depends on the child. As I always say, absolutely nothing is absolute. Remember that.

Okay, so let's say you've done your homework and you have some points you're ready to make with your kid. What's the next step? Take a deep breath and gather your thoughts carefully. Remind yourself that punishing them will not necessarily teach them a lesson. Sometimes, it will only teach them not to get caught again. The goal here is NOT to push your child away by grounding them, or taking their phone, or something like that. This puts you on a different team, and that will accomplish nothing. You want to remain on their team. Think, why are you doing this to begin with? Are they stealing money from you to buy pot? Are their grades dropping? Have they been arrested? These are bad things, which do deserve punishment of some sort. But these are to be kept completely separate from the issue of smoking marijuana period. The most important issue is the drug itself. Deal separately with the stolen money, etc. Again, if you try to throw the two issues in together, you will only teach them not to get caught again.
Let's go back to the part about staying on their team. You love this kid. You raised him/her, you watched their first steps, you cried when

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