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Humor: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day and Anniversary Day

Valentine's Day arrived, which, for Marcus and Mary, was also their first anniversary. The year before, it seemed like a wonderfully romantic idea to get married on Valentine's Day, but a year later, Marcus wasn't so sure. "You know," Marcus said to Mary, "this is like a kid being born on Christmas. He only gets one big holiday. It's the same with us. We only get one day to celebrate. We should have thought of that."

Mary tried to calm him down. "Its fine. We'll just celebrate more." Marcus shrugged. "Okay. And you know, my parents sent us an anniversary gift."

"Mine did, too," said Mary. "And," she added, "my grandmother sent us a card."

"So did my grandmother," Marcus said. Mary went to the counter and opened the envelope with the card from her grandmother. She started reading it out loud. "Happy first anniversary, dear, to you and your husband. Sorry I couldn't remember his name." She shrugged a bit after reading that last part. Then she pulled some money out of the card. "Oh, fourteen dollars."

"That's nice," said Marcus, who began reading the card from his own grandmother. "Happy anniversary-" his voice drifted off as he took some money out of the envelope. "Eleven dollars." Marcus seemed to be disappointed at the lesser amount, but Mary tried to comfort him quickly. "It's okay," she told him. "It's almost as much."

Marcus then began opening the present his parents had sent him. He pulled a big bottle out of a box. "Oh, champagne," he said. Mary told him how nice the gift was, but pointed out that they had recently decided not to drink as much alcohol. "It's all right," he said. "We'll just drink it slowly." Mary nodded, then she began opening the gift from her parents. "It's two bottles of champagne. Imported. And some fancy glasses." Marcus seemed a little uncomfortable.

"That's better than my parents gave us," he said. Mary tried to comfort him. "It's all right. It's not a contest. My parents are probably a little more extravagant. Don't let it bother you." Marcus still seemed a little uneasy but thanked Mary for her words. Then he went over and hugged her, but while they were embracing, Marcus seemed to be getting emotional.

"Are you crying? What's wrong," Mary asked, quite concerned that she had done something to make him unhappy. Marcus had trouble getting the words out, but then finally, he spoke.

"It's just that we said we'd be together for sixty years. And now a whole year is gone. Now it's only fifty-nine years." Mary hugged him, trying to console him. "It's okay," she said. "That's still a long time."

"I know, but-" Marcus' voice trailed off while he kept hugging her. He seemed inconsolable, but then Mary had a brainstorm. "You know what? We can change it. We can be together for sixty-one years. Then we still have sixty years left." Marcus' mood brightened.

"We can do that?"

"Sure." Marcus, suddenly relieved, hugged her even tighter. While he was holding her, Mary thought it through. "You know if we're going to last sixty-one years, we're going to have to take better care of ourselves."

Marcus nodded. "Okay."

"We're going to have to quit smoking pretty soon. And get rid of any other bad habits we have." Marcus shook his head, reluctantly agreeing. Then his mood brightened and he spoke: "All right. And we'll help each other."

"Good."

Marcus soon decided that having their anniversary on Valentine's Day wasn't such a bad thing, because Mary, with the expensive tastes she inherited from her parents, had bought the two of them some very fancy chocolate. Marcus hoped she would keep doing it for the next sixty years.

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Humor: Valentine's Day

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