by Courtney Alexis Packard

Created on: February 06, 2009   Last Updated: February 14, 2009

Well, I certainly wouldn't agree that a spouse should be forced to share every hairy little detail about their past romances, but I definitely think that there needs to be some kind of communication about the past. After-all, every wife is entitled to know if her new husband is someone else's baby daddy and whether she can engage in intimacy with him without her vagina contracting some kind of fungus. Ew.

But the fact that a man and women can make it to the alter without even DISCUSSING past loves is absurd. Why label this question "Should a HUSBAND"? Why not say a "Partner"? This is normally something discussed upfront in a relationship, at least I would think so (it's always handy to know why your new boyfriend insists on double locking the door and calling the police every time "Shelia" shows up on caller ID). Crazy exes suck, plain and simple.

However, I don't think anyone should be forced to share every emotional detail about their relationships of yore. As humans we're allowed to keep some things to ourself. And if a husband doesn't want to tell his wife about his first date with a certain girl and how much he made her laugh, that's totally his business (not to mention that could make any current partner insane with jealousy). And if he doesn't want to talk about how another woman smashed his heart into 80 billions pieces...that's his right.

For some reason that just reminded me of Titanic and that shriveled old lady dropping the Heart of the Ocean into the sea when she knew very well that the dude that invited her onto his boat was looking for that darn thing. That kind of infuriated me. But I totally understand because like that played out quote (that would have been plastered on everyone teenage girls' myspace page had myspace been around in 1997), "A women's heart is an ocean of secrets"...or some bull like that.

And it's true, to a certain degree. As I kind of stated earlier, past relationship spillage should operate solely on a need-to-know basis. Unless you find child support papers or a lab test hidden in your hubby's sock drawer, I wouldn't pressure him too much to spill the beans.

As a wife all I know about my husband's past relationships is the number of women he dated and why they broke up. I feel anything beyond that is just none of my business. I like knowing what he learned in those relationships and what he hated. End of story. And I don't talk about what it was like to be in my early relationships. Except for one: I have openly shared every dirty detail about my crushes on all five Backstreet Boys.

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