by Moe Zilla

Created on: February 06, 2009

"Bigfoot Cinderella" is just what you'd think: a re-telling of the Cinderella story with Bigfoot monsters in all the part. There's not one Bigfoot, but an entire species, and the first one we meet is the prince of the tribe. "He was as odoriferous as his tree-home was coniferous," the book observes. My first response? It would've been interesting if they'd tried rhyming the entire book.

But instead, Tony Johnston sticks to her story - while clogging it up with a lot of gratuitous ecological references. Prince Bigfoot himself is shown living in an old-growth forest. There's a woman with two vain daughters, and "For fun, they threw rocks at spotted owls." And of course, there's a kindly stepdaughter who loves nature and "would harm no creature" - and she has to perform all their chores.

What about the prince of the Bigfoots? He's "so horrendously hairy that Bigfoot women near and far longed to marry him..." And just as inevitably, it seems that the prince also loves only nature - so the wildflowers they're wearing only irritate him. ("No pick flowers," the prince bellows.) Instead of a fairy godmother, the harried stepdaughter has a "bear-y godfather," and instead of a gown, he mats her fur so it resembles the messy forest floor that the prince loves so much.

The environmental messages seem to weigh down the story. In fact, this book is specifically dedicated to the California
grizzly, "now extinct," as well as to "all those who protect the old-growth forest." It also includes a glossary that defines forest-related words like deadfall, spotted owl, and of course, old-growth forest. I began wondering if the book had a message about sexual politics too. There's an annual log-rolling event, but this year the prince will marry whoever rolls him off the log, and the sisters, in some obvious symbolism, scream "Powerrrrr! Powerrrrr!" One of them even vows in broken monster-speak that "When ME snag putrid furball prince, me rule whole tree-place."

But in the end, the prince's dream woman rejects pretty flowers for a woman who's "shaggy as the forest floor, smelly as a fish, and strong." Unable to find her, the prince wails sadly, "Where my stinky beauty go?" In fact, Bigfoot Cinderella has fled into the woods. (And who can blame her? There's a tribe of Bigfoots chanting "Brrrrride! Brrrrride! Brrrrride!" - and it all sounds pretty creepy.) This book is so politically correct, I began wonder if they'd just settle for a common-law civil union. But instead, when he chooses Cinderella over her sisters, their mother just "kicked the prince black and blue."

There's "a rowdy wedding" in the old-growth forest, with just three simple rules. "No pick flower. No pull tree. No kick royal family." But I'd propose a fourth rule.

No political messages in an illustrated children's story book.

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