by Hesty Lim

Created on: February 06, 2009   Last Updated: September 19, 2009

I am not a man who will be a father or husband. But, I am here to tell all of the men out there who will turn out to be one. I am not here to give advises to men of how being a good one, since I will never know how a good father and husband is. I am just here to tell all of the men out there, how a bad father and husband is.

Since my parents divorced, until this moment, my father never fulfilled his own kids' needs (there are three of us). Who did so? His older sister did. Not actually his older sister, his older sister would send money to my grandmother, then my granny would give some for us. That's how we live this far. My mom was doing her own effort to give a part to fulfill our needs. The money that was given by my granny would not enough to make it.

Well, we are not discussing about that money now. What we are discussing is about a father. Being a good one or a bad one. He keeps on saying that he loves us, but we can't see his proof. He said that he had given all we wanted. But, he gave us the thing that we didn't need.

My dad hit my mom had been a screen-saver of our life when we were younger. I don't care what the reason was. I don't want to know about the past. Then, when we are growing up, we see that he is not better than my mom. And my mom was only a victim.

He keeps on telling us that my mom is a bad woman, if we stay together with her then we will not be able to marry a good husband, to live a good life, and many more. What is a good husband? A good husband for him, is a man with a good career and rich, absolutely. Though, he keeps on telling bad things about my mom, I am sure, that my mom never say a bad word about him. Every time we tell our mom about what he had said about her, my mom will only say, "Just let him. He is old already."

He says my mom is a hooker. Just say so. Then, why? We appreciate her more than him. At least, my mom has done what she can do to give us a life, a better life. Then, what has he done for us? Nothing. Just sit back and keep on telling us that the monthly fee from my grandma was from him. He tries to cheat us, as if we don't know anything.

He always compares us with his friends' children. He says, "Sam work in an office, and the boss loves him very much. Do you know how much he earn?" then he will describe amount of money that we cannot earn. Every time he says so, I feel so angry and so sick. Sam got his father who always support him, sending him to the highest education level and give him everything he needs. But he? He didn't even want to pay my college fee. Pushing me to pay it by my own. Then, wanting me to have much cash in my bank account. He asked me, 'Do you have ten millions rupiahs in your bank account?'

I was sure not even one normal teenage at my age had that amount of money. Not even one who still got support from his parents.

He always says he is the best father ever, and best husband, and my mom had been so stupid to runaway from him.

The last thing I heard from him, "If you guys want to tell your mom what I told you, we just break up this relation." So, he and us will not be father and children anymore.

He mentions about 'breaking up the relation' for quite many times. And, right now, what happen is, he doesn't want to responsible for my brother who still studies in senior high school. He stopped monthly fee for my brother and keep the money from my grandma so that she couldn't give the money to us without his knowing anymore. It seems like he is not regarding us as his children anymore, and so are we. We just haven't mentioned the words.

All the guys out there, please don't be the same kind again, if you want to be a good father and a good husband. He is really a bad one.

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