by Jess Gray

Created on: January 23, 2007   Last Updated: February 06, 2012

When to bring another child into your family, is a question that is playing on the minds of many parents. Some worry a too close gap may cause problems or extra stress. Others worry that a few years in-between may affect the sibling relationship in the long run. Whatever your family chooses, it will be right for your family.

I have two sons who were born 17 and half months apart. After talking with my partner, we agreed that 2 years was the best gap for us and our son. It would give us time to enjoy our older son as well as allow our children to grow up together. Currently, our sons are aged 21 months and 3 months.

Any parent will agree they do at some stage think of sibling rivalry, at some point. Some may give horror stories of their children competing against one another; others may appear to have perfect children whom are very loving towards each other. How do you combat a problem that hasn't started yet?

There are many suggested ways to combat sibling rivalry before it starts. One of the most common ways is to include the older child in the pregnancy of their sibling. Another is to spend time alone with each child. (See What Parents Can Do for more information: http://www.angelfire.com/md/imsystem/sibriv3.html#PA RENTS)

Gwenda is a 50 year old, mother of four and grandmother of two. She had four years between each of her 3 older children whom are boys, and two years between her younger two children.

"I didn't think I would cope if I had them close together. Now they are all grown up and I am enjoying my grandkids. Four years, was best for me. It gave me a chance to enjoy each child's personality and life. All the small things, the milestones. It might not have seemed as special had I had another child a year or so younger" Gwenda explains.

Gwenda explains what influenced her choice in starting to have children at the age she did, " I had my first baby at age 25.Back then, it was a bit weird to have your first baby at that age, a lot of mothers were younger then me. But I didn't want to have a baby straight after getting married. I waited a few years and worked a bit, then had my son."

Susan, a 42 year old, mother of five and grandmother of three, had a varied amount of years between her children.

"I had 1 year between my first two, then 2 years after that my third child was born. The following year my fourth child was born. My youngest was born two years after that" She explains.

"It was hard having two young babies. I was a single mum to my two older children

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