by Petro Maritz

Created on: February 05, 2009

The process of becoming new parents is a very daunting one. At the stage that antenatal classes are presented, people often feel overwhelmed with the idea of a new baby in the house. The last thing that should be done is scare them even more with lessons on tantrum prevention and potty training.

Parental classes on toddler behavior should not be offered during pregnancy. Give new parents the privilege of enjoying their new bundle of love before they have to face the reality of a toddler.

Even when expecting parents attended antenatal classes, much of the responsibilities of parenting still come as a surprise to new parents. Parenting is a skill that requires both theory and practice. By teaching people the theory of handling toddlers, without the ability to put their knowledge into practice for another two years seems unnecessary.

However, classes that offer help and advice on toddler behavior will make parenting a lot easier. And I suggest parents take the pre toddler classes before the terrible twos' struck, because this phase can be particularly difficult.

Toddlers are discovering that they have a will and a personality of their own, and they are pushing the boundaries to get to know their abilities. Parents who are not prepared for this (and even those who are) have a hard time adjusting.

To me, an ideal solution would be offering continuous parenting classes. Not as intensive or as often as antenatal classes, but informing enough to equip parents to handle the average two year old. This is also the ideal place to keep track of developmental achievements. First time parents can be anxious about the smallest behavioral changes, and it helps to be able to talk to parents with similar problems.

This brings me back to the argument. Teaching expecting parents how to potty train their child, who has not even worn a diaper yet, just doesn't make sense. It's the same as expecting that the child will learn how to walk and how to jump in one day. Parenting is largely learnt through trail and error. Some strategies work for some families and some don't. Strategies to handle a toddler are hugely impacted by the personality of the child. It will be a lot easier to equip parents with the skills to handle their toddlers, if they already have an idea of how the child will respond to the strategy proposed.

Raising a baby has nothing to do with its personality. It requires some knowledge and some skills but it's mainly the same for all children. This is what should be learnt in antenatal classes. Parents should be prepared mentally, physically and emotionally to handle a small baby and nothing more. That is difficult enough.

And because expecting parents are still preparing to raise a baby, they are not yet prepared to raise a toddler. To offer classes on toddler behavior is a waste of time. They cannot relate to toddlers yet. They are already overwhelmed by the amount of information that they receive. They are already scared by the responsibility of raising a little baby. Give them a break. Give new parents at least a year to adjust to parenthood before scaring them with the challenges of raising a toddler.

Do not confuse parents by trying to equip them for too much too early. Let antenatal classes cater for expecting parents, and create supporting pre toddler classes for parents who have babies already.

Learn more about this author, Petro Maritz.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.