by Sue Tabb

Created on: February 05, 2009   Last Updated: February 06, 2009

An Appointment with Fun

My husband recently informed me that going to the doctor's office isn't any fun. I'm glad he shared this with me since I have been under the impression, for a good many years, that going to the doctor's was a really good time. Doesn't everyone enjoy a good rectal exam? I'm pretty certain that an ultra sound when your bladder is full and you're seven months pregnant is about as good as it gets.

I figure since he hasn't given birth, he has never experienced the real joy that unrelenting, torturous and searing pain can bring to a person. That's the very definition of fun, isn't it?

My husband has been suffering from severe allergies for several weeks now and refuses to get checked out by a physician who might actually be able to help him because there won't be a ticker tape parade and some jolly jugglers awaiting his arrival. He will continue to gasp for every breath because there is no musical act in the waiting room or a comedian to entertain him while he endures the unthinkableopening his mouth and saying "ah." He may even have to be pricked with tiny needles in order to determine his specific allergies, without so much as a flat-screen TV to keep him amused. (shiver)

I, on the other hand, am supposed to be quite amused and entertained by the snoring, wheezing, coughing, snorting and snuffling that these allergies bring on. This is not supposed to create any problems whatsoever in terms of the rest of the family's ability to cohabitate with him. But I figure that sleep is overrated anyway. A better use of time is to stay awake all night, hoping the person you love can draw his next breath.

Now I see his point; I'm the one having all the fun.

I thought about just making an appointment with his doctor but I've lived through the repercussions of that strategy as it backfires in my face. I'm always the one calling to reschedule, "Yes, that's right, four years from next Tuesday sounds great. And that'll give you plenty of time to book a performance by Gwen Stefani so he's sure to have some fun while he's there."

So there are no appointments and I lie awake, hoping that sleep will come or that someone will hit me over the head with a blunt object. Neither ever happens so I generally settle for a good dose of Divine Design on Home and Garden TV. I'm pretty crazy like that.

I'm thinking of staging a protest in order to get my point across to my husband. I could refuse to do anything that isn't blissfully fun. I will not do laundry, pack lunches, make

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