If I knew that I was going to die tomorrow, I would have my work cut out for me. For one, I'm sure that for the first few hours, I would be in denial: "Why would I die tomorrow? Why not some day in the distant future?" However, I would eventually have to face the grim reality that in twenty-four hours, I will have moved on to a different world.
First, I would sit down and write out a will. Yes, I know, it has no legal value if I don't have an attorney work it out with me, but I wouldn't have the time nor money for that. Instead, I'd write a note to may parents telling them how I want all of my stuff evenly distributed: All of my cash would go to my best friend, my hat would go to my girlfriend, my friends could take whatever other clothing they wanted, my weights would go to my mom (she's always wanted to get in better shape), my massive book collection would be split between my girlfriend and other friends (a lot of which just happen to be girls who enjoy reading), and anything left behind in my room would go to my brother. My computer would be given to my mom to use for her business.
Once my will is completed, I would post it in my room, over my bed. Then, I would bike to my best friend's house to say good-bye. We would talk, I would tell him anything that I haven't told him in all the years I've known him, and then I would leave him to go say good-bye to my other friends who are close by. Then, I would return home and say good-bye to my parents, brother, and my dogs. Of course, they would want to do everything possible to keep me alive, but that would be futile. Afterwards, I would make the journey to my girlfriend's house, where I'd probably spend the rest of my life.
I love her. I would arrive at her doorstep without warning and spend every last second of my life with her. I would confess to her that there was more I should've done for her, for she had such a huge impact on my life. I would give her my thumbdrive as well; it has a ton of articles, passwords, and other information on it that I haven't had time to share with her yet. If I had it my way (and if I had her mom's permission) I wouldn't let go of her all afternoon and all night; I would die in her arms, letting her know that my very last thought was how soft her hair was as it caught in my teeth and draped over our shoulders.
It may be hackneyed, but I believe that my last thought should be a good one. First of all, if my death cannot be prevented, I want to make the most of it, don't I? Die with a smile on my face, at least. I want to take some happy memories with me as I face heaven, the afterlife, or whatever it is that comes next. Hey, for all I know, it could be an endless abyss of darkness, but I know that it'll be a little brighter if I have the memories. So when I say that I want my last thought to be a good one, I'm not saying that because I know it'll disappear right afterwards: I say it because I want it to last forever.
It's funny: I would save many people a day of grief if I didn't tell them I wasn't going to be around the next day. For the last day of my life, everyone would be happy; don't I want to have the last day of my life be the happiest? But then again, I wouldn't be able to live with myself (ha, ha) if I knew I was going to die and ease the shock of it the next day. It just wouldn't feel right, leaving without a warning. Of course, I would have to tell the people I'm closest to that I'm going, but I would need to take great strides to calm them down, and that would require time, time that I won't have. The best thing to do would be to say good-bye and leave without turning back.
I would also leave a mark on this world if I knew I was going to die. I don't know exactly what it would be: maybe I would carve my name into a tree, ask for a gravestone near Strawbridge Lake, where I grew up, or do something else so that people will walk by and remember me. The one thing I would ask of my friends, family, and girlfriend would be that they remember me, and remember when we were happy instead of dwelling on my passing. I want to be associated with happiness, and I hope that I would leave all of them with happy memories of their own. For even if I were to die the next day, I could never completely leave this world.
If I know that death is inevitable, I'll go without a fight. I'll just sit there on the couch, hugging my girlfriend, whispering in her ear, letting her know that, for now, I'm with her and only her. Or perhaps it will be silent: We're both thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, the ending of one life, the beginning of another, so there are several things that don't need to be said between us. I would tell her that although I have to go, I will never, ever forget her, and that dying with her is the greatest honor and blessing I could ask for.
Of course, tears would leap to my eyes as well, for we would both be thinking of the future, what could have been. There would be absolutely no chance of us ever seeing each other again, which would break my heart even as I sit with the person who's made me the happiest that I've ever been. However, there's nothing we could do to stop it, so I would suppress the thoughts of the future as much as I could and instead dwell on the past, of the good times we shared. The laughter, the playful conversation, the tickling, everything....then darkness.