by Athena Goodlight

Created on: February 03, 2009

Truth hurts. To some people, asking a girl for a date could be just about the scariest thing one could think of. A shy guy would think, "Asking her out is impossible!" "What if she says 'NO?" or worse, "What if she laughs on my face or tell her friends?" "And what if they make fun of me?" No way is he going to risk it. It's easier to pretend he didn't want to go.

On the other side of the gender spectrum, if guys only knew, some girls are just as afraid - afraid no one would ask her to the prom, afraid that some nerd would ask her, or afraid she might not look pretty enough, or she might spill her punch and ruin her dress.

Fear is an emotion so basic that it affects people from all age levels and cultural backgrounds. Fear isn't the same for everyone. It varies with the distinct situations and experiences each person has. Acute fear may become a phobia (an irrational, extreme, constant fear), disrupting a person's entire life and sometimes requiring psychiatric treatment.

For most of us, fear is that well known feeling of discomfort and unsure ness that comes when we confront a new situation or one in which we've failed before.

Psychologists tell us that what we actually feel is the fear of losing control. The basis of that fear is the feeling that we can't handle the situation. We start imagining what might happen, even though it hasn't occurred yet, or it may never occur, the fear in our minds trigger symptoms. Dry mouth, trembling hands, dizziness, nausea, rapid pulse, chest pain, pale or flushed skin, headache, blurred vision, cramps- all these and more are common reactions to anxiety.

Fear disrupts your activities, you goals, and you life. When it begins to stifle your growth and development, it's about time to recognize and confront it.

1. Analyze your fear. A good way to examine it is to write down what you are really afraid of and why, then explore where that worry might have started.

2. Be mindful of the moment. Don't worry about what might happen. Focus on what is happening, and do what you can do in the moment. People who are fearful give themselves all sorts of negative messages. Replace these with a positive attitude. In the first place, the other person you are afraid of approaching hasn't done something wrong to you yet. So, relax and be yourself. Prepare for the panic. Think of the worst thing that could happen then plan what you can do in that situation. Most likely, it's a lot less serous than the situation you built up in your mind. If you didn't get the response you wanted, then life goes on. You're still alive, anyway.

3. Maintain healthy habits. People who internalize fear tend to overeat or abuse substances in order to cope with it. These may alleviate your dread temporarily but may cause other problems later. Turn to activities that make you mentally and physically stronger.

4. Finally, don't blame anyone for your fears. You are in control of your life. You decide how to act or react on situations you face.

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