Fear of death? When I first read this title I was curious, probably because I don't fear death anymore and haven't for quite sometime. Life's traumas are all relative, dependant upon how much power you ascribe to the source of that trauma. These two topics will be discussed separately and then they will be joined. While I wish I could answer in a universal for form everyone, this is a relative matter and I can only rely on my personal philosophies to justify my position.

Death. I have no idea what awaits anyone when they die. Religious faiths can offer consolation and the promise of a life beyond this realm, but no one factually knows if anything waits us when our bodies fail. However, I feel my beliefs may be accepted by both the religious and non religious because they are not dependant on the religious promise of an afterlife.

Through my limited experience, fear seems to stem from a perceived threat. Therefore, if one fears death, death is viewed as a threat to the individual. This is not too difficult to understand, but in analyzing the "why" things get messy this is how I sorted them out. For myself, it didn't matter what I was told awaited me when I died, I didn't want to die. This is basic evolutionary psychology, self preservation. While people have the capability of altruistic behavior and self sacrifice, there is a fundamental desire to sustain and protect one's own life. But what originally sparked my curiosity about death is that I was afraid of it, I was afraid to die. I don't like to be afraid, so I analyzed my fear. I began to realize that I was afraid because I knew that I wasn't at peace with myself. Things were left undone, and I wasn't secure in my own decisions. I had certain goals that I wanted to achieve, but I wasn't making life decisions to actualize those goals.

I picked a goal and evaluated what I needed to achieve that goal. I then evaluated every decision I made on the basis of whether or not it helped me achieve my goal. If something detracted me from my goal, I wouldn't do it. Therefore, every decision I made was in the interest of reaching what I wanted, becoming who I wanted to be. After years of practice I have successfully integrated this philosophy automatically into my decision making process and I have found that I am a much happier person. Moreover, I no longer fear death because I know that I have made the most of everyday. Everyday I have made one step closer to the person I want to be, and even if I never reach all my goals (I'm constantly elevating my standards), I'm spending everyday making myself a better person (in my opinion). I know this sound unrealistic, but it has worked for me.

Further, it has overlapped into how I respond to life traumas. Whatever the situation, I don't act unless it is to be part of the solution to the problem, not my solution but a solution for everyone. I have learned to appreciate time more than ever before, particularly time spent with family and friends. The value I ascribe to those I care about secures that those individuals will never be taken for granted, or the time I share with them. I know that when I must part from any family member or friend, I have appreciated the time we spent together and I'm thankful for the gift of a relationship with them. This has helped me with the trauma of loosing a loved one.

For smaller traumas, a car accident, etc., these provide new opportunities to create new goals to achieve. While this may seem lame, it has helped improve my quality of life. I no longer fear death or the next obstacle life offers, and I know they're coming.

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