by Lara Lawrence

Created on: February 03, 2009

I had it all planned out. When I was pregnant with my first child, I planned to select a daycare facility, take my full maternity leave, then join the other contemporary "career" moms and go back to my well-deserved, 9-5 job, for which I had earned my college degree.

Then she was born - the most beautiful, precious baby girl I had ever seen. God so richly blessed me that day and my life was never the same. My perspective on career and family changed on that wonderful day. I could not imagine leaving my new baby to go back to that same 9-5 job for which I had worked so hard.

Well, like so many moms, the need for money forced me to go back after 8 weeks. I was absolutely miserable. I cried every day. I started brainstorming for ways I could make money without leaving home.

Fortunately, I had a very understanding boss who also valued me as an employee. We worked out a plan which allowed me to work from home two days a week. Although I still missed my baby the other three days, it was better than being gone full-time. I was able to experience the joy of watching her grow and develop, as babies so quickly do. I felt as though a burden had been lifted. We made it work for a while, however ....

When my second daughter was born, my heart was so heavy with the burden of leaving two children, even for three days a week. After calculating how much money it was actually costing me to work because of daycare, gas, food, and clothing, I decided that it just wasn't worth it anymore. I had missed out on so much with my first daughter and was not willing to do that again. I never went back to work until after they started school.

The time went so quickly. Spending time with my daughters when they were little is something I will never regret. They were the most precious gifts in my life, and I treasured every day with them. We played and laughed together every single day. We read story after story and played dollhouse together. We went shopping together. I took them everywhere with me. It was incredible.

After they started school, I re-entered the work force again, however, I soon was expecting my third child. After my son was born, I tried to make it work again, but found that I was miserable being away from him so much. I was missing out on his babyhood, just like I did with my first child. I missed his first smile, discovering his first tooth, and so many other wonderful moments. I quit my job again, this time for good.

Now, more than 16 years later, I am still a stay-at-home mom.

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