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Punxsutawney Phil

Don't talk to Groundhogs

Phil Says "Six More Weeks of Winter!"

Phil's official forecast as read February 2nd, 2009 at sunrise at Gobbler's Knob:

Hear Ye Hear Ye On Gobbler's Knob this glorious Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2009 Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators Awoke to the call of President Bill Cooper And greeted his handlers, Ben Hughes and John Griffiths

After casting a joyful eye towards thousands of his faithful followers, Phil proclaimed that his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers were World Champions one more time And a bright sky above me Showed my shadow beside me. So 6 more weeks of winter it will be.

But then, after the festivities, Phil took me aside and said something unforeseen and unexpected. He wasn't usually the type to do that kind of thing, but today, he seemed agitated, uneasy. Curious, I followed him to a corner of the library to listen to what he had to say. He looked at me silently for a while, eying me carefully as if studying me like a virus under a microscope.

He said:

"I really don't see the bother over the opinions of a simple Groundhog such as myself [you could hear his capitalization of the word "Groundhog"].

"With all the things going on this new year, what with the economy and world wide unemployment figures, you really should be paying more attention to your situation. You know that I AM only right 40% of the time. Right? In the last 118 years, I've seen my shadow 95 times (over 80 percent of the time). You people really need to get a grip on things and start facing reality!

"I mean seriously?" Phil said. "The Inner Circle, who runs this show, claim that I've been right 100% of the time and that I'm the same Groundhog who has been predicting for almost 120 years. Apparently, a sip of my secret "Groundhog punch" each summer extends my life by seven years!

"Really?!" he said, incredulously, "DON'T you think that just MAYBE, someone here in Pennsylvania has been drinking too much of that Groundhog punch? I don't know, I AM only a Groundhog, or a Woodchuck, or whatever you are pleased to call me. But I do suspect, some lots of someones out there are just a bit too gullible! A little fun is a good thing, takes your mind off your problems, but this is a little extreme, don't you think? Besides, I'm just a bit tired of coming out in the winter time!"

"So. PuLease! Get a CLUE people!" And after giving me a one sided look, he crawled back into his stump shaped cage.

I stood there for a moment, a bit startled.

"Groundhogs talk?" I mused aloud to no one in particular.

Really, I blame myself for listening.

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