by Caryn Anderson

Created on: February 02, 2009

You'd think a girl who grew up with a father, two brothers, and a bevy of male friends would have a firm grasp on the male psyche. Think again! For more than 30 years I have been as baffled as anyone as to what makes the opposite sex tick. Until now. It was late in 2008, when I had what Oprah would call my "aha" moment!

Both my younger brother and I were back in the nesteach for our own reasons. Billy* had come home for a job change and a girl. Our Mom recently went back to her nursing career after being in a corporate job for more than 16 years and needed some moral support. And I was home full time caring for my four fluffy Bichons and fanning the flames of my lifelong dreama successful writing career. The story of how we came to live under the same roof is not important. That we were under the same roof for the first time in many years is what sparked my epiphany.

For months I watched my brother come and go without uttering a word. No "see you later," "I'm going out with Judy*,"nothing! I found his lack of communication to be typical for a man. He never offered to go to the store. Never offered to cook dinner, take the garbage out, etc. This was all typical male behavior, right?

One evening, I sat at my desk, in my winter-chilled office, working late into the evening. Mom was at work, the dogs were napping, and my brother had the day offand was MIA all day long. That he was out didn't bother methat he never checked in did. Why is it that I have to communicate every minute detail to everyone while he just does whatever he wants? I was just finished pondering this when he breezed in the door and sat down to chat. It wasn't until he got up to leave that I realizedhe doesn't do this intentionally. He doesn't WANT to be thoughtless. He doesn't realize that his communication skills are lacking. And with this in mind, I set out to research my blossoming idea. While some of you are out there navigating the battle of the sexes using tools like He's Just Not That Into You or feedback from your equally confused girlfriends; I have found the truth at long last. Men aren't purposely thoughtless and incommunicativethey're just wired completely differently. If we understand these differences better, perhaps we can begin to rebuild the bridge to communication between the sexes and live happier lives.

Aside from the obvious physical and emotional differences, are we really that dissimilar? In an excerpt from Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women, by Anne Moir,

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