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How to really lose a guy-on the first date

by Nikki Stoneroad

Created on: February 02, 2009   Last Updated: February 13, 2009

How to lose a guy in 10 days? Yeah, I watched the movie. So you're going out, and yeah, he's hot and all, but you weren't really into him, were you? If you follow these steps you will be on the fast track to being single for a really long time.

1)Talk about yourself nonstop. Focus on your looks, your job, friends, and all your exes. Don't let him get more than five words in all night. He is not important here, you are. And if he wants to be with you he better get used to it.

2)Brag about how much money you make. Make sure everyone around you is listening. And make sure to mention that he works as a bag-boy at the grocery store. (You never know he could end up signing up with the NFL and it will be your loss).

3)Never leave home without your friends or at least keep them only a phone call away. Keep them connected via bluetooth all night. Repeat to them everything that is going on every step of the way. Don't forget to mention his occupation and brag some more about yours.

4) Tell him about all your ex-boyfriends. Remind him of all the great qualities all your exes possess. And make sure you tell him that it was your choice for the split each time. They just didn't make enough money for you. You are way too independent for that.

5)Talk about how you want kids in the near future. 1, 2, 3, or half a dozen. You never had any siblings so you think it would be nice to have a big family. And since you are making so much money, you can afford daycare.

6)Be disrespectful to everyone you come in contact with. Besides, they are all beneath you anyway. You make way more money than them so they should be catering to you.

7)Take him to meet your parents. Make sure to mention that this is the sixth date you have brought home this week. And make sure you mention how they just don't measure up to your last boyfriend, the one that wasn't good enough for you because he didn't make enough money, but who will always be your one true love in your heart.

8)Send him an email ahead of time explaining the details of the date. Pick out an outfit for him. Find out what kind of car he drives, because on a bag-boy salary you probably won't want to be caught dead in it. So you'll have to take your car (the one daddy bought for you, but that's our little secret). Plan out the evening's events yourself. Don't ask him what he wants to do, because everyone knows men never want to do anything we want to do.

Learn more about this author, Nikki Stoneroad.
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