by Yvonne Mccormack

Created on: February 02, 2009   Last Updated: February 27, 2009

I was married for eighteen years and have four children, my marriage and my kids were the only thing in my life, you might say that it was a life that just fitted. My husband was not one of these new age husbands, in fact he was the complete opposite, he was the man of the house and what he said goes. All through our marriage he took care of providing for us he worked very hard and I can honestly say he was only on unemployment once in his life. The children loved him to bits, when he would get home from work they would make a mad dash to be the first to jump on his lap, and argue over who would have the fun of pulling off his boots. My son did everything he did, he was like a little clone, he went fishing, and shooting with him from an early age and just loved it, we only had one son, he was the youngest of three girls so he got spoiled a bit by everyone.

Then one day it all ended, our whole world came crashing down, my husband took his own life, my son was ten, the girls were thirteen, sixteen, and seventeen. I was left to continue to raise the children on my own, I didn't know where to start.

I knew single moms but I had never really given them much thought, they were just moms like me, I didn't realise how lonely it must be for them until of course i became one of them.

My life was a mess, I didn't even have any idea about our finances, and paying the bills, so I had to get myself together and get some help. I'm quite a shy person so this was a task in its self but I knew I had to for the kids sake, my seventeen year old wasn't living at home at this time so I relied a lot on my other two girls, for things like looking after their brother while I was out getting information. I found out I wasn't very well off, so I knew I would have to rely on widows pension, I went to the department that dealt with this and found them great, they helped me sort everything out.

So now this was my new life, I was a single parent, I had to raise the children on my own, my in-laws didn't help, they some how blamed me for my husbands death, and all my family lived in england where I was born, so I was on my own. I found the discipline hard to cope with as their father was the one who disciplined them all, his word was law, although I found it quite harsh sometimes, he was very strict.

I sat down one day with the kids, it was after a very embarrassing trip to the shops, when my son decided to play up over something he wanted and I couldn't afford, he slammed doors and stormed off

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