by Jane Allyson

Created on: February 02, 2009

The first thing that we expect from a relationship is the need to be close to our partner and to be able to share an emotional bond. After all, is this not the reason why we are drawn to another person? The need to be intimate and to feel loved and nurtured by the one that we love is a basic human need that most of us seek to satisfy in our life.

Intimacy doesn't necessarily mean we are speaking of a sexual nature. Although maintaining healthy sexual relations in a partnership help to strengthen the relationship, long distance relations for example, rely on emotional and intuitive bonds that can transcend many miles.

But can a relationship survive without the bonds of intimacy? On one hand some would say that intimacy and closeness are essential characteristics of a healthy relationship, whilst others may argue that intimacy can often become a stifling affair if it causes one or both partners to lose their personal sense of autonomy within the confines of marriage or a relationship.

The beginning of the relationship will figure heavily on getting to know the other person really well, creating bonds of trust and emotional ties that are essential for maintaining a successful liaison. However, depending on the type of people that you were before you both met each other, will probably dictate to how you will cope with the everyday trials and tribulations of everyday life and the effect it has on your subsequent "togetherness".

Some people will become emotionally dependent on the other, and this can cause problems in a relationship as the other battles to appease the insecurity of the other, leading to feelings of pressure that can develop into sources of conflict. Unhappily, the more that one pulls away, fighting to regain some vestige of their self identity, the faster the other will cling on, fearing the loss of love and attention.

One way to deal with this is to realise how important it is that both people retain their sense of "self" and that they become emotionally responsible for their own feelings and develop coping strategies that allows each person a chance to grow, and develop spiritually within the marriage.

The famous poet and philosopher Kahlil Gibran stated:

"stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow"

In conclusion, although traditionally we believe that a good or healthy relationship is built upon strong bonds and a empathetic attachment for the other,

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