by Melissa Manning

Created on: February 02, 2009

There is a great deal of difference between flirting and cheating, although the two actions share suface similarities.

Both terms describe human relationships. Flirting is a light-hearted word, bringing to mind the playful banter between a pretty girl and the admiring circle around her. Cheating, however, is dark, with its implications of sneaking behaviour and betrayal of trust.

Flirting carries with it a limitation, an intention to go so far and no farther. It can be fun, usually happens when there is no real feeling between those involved, and is generally regarded as harmless party behaviour. It can hurt, even so. A boy who takes a girl he cares about to a party will not be happy if she flirts with other men there, although the other men will probably enjoy the interaction. A woman whose boyfriend flirts with other girls will not feel like relaxing and having a good time. In both scenarios, there is the implication that one person feels more strongly about the depth of the relationship than the other does. In that sense, the wounded one may feel that he or she is being 'cheated' out of the happiness that had been anticipated.

Cheating, however, implies that there is a definite and established relationship that is being violated. In some cases, one half of a relationship may take it seriously enough to think it warrants fidelity, while the other half may still feel free enough to 'fool around.' But if there have been serious committments exchanged between two people, cheating is a destructive and dishonest breach of trust. The cheat is deceiving someone on one hand while taking advantage of someone else on the other.

There is not much condemnation in being called a flirt, although it loses its charm if taken to excess. It is more attactive in the young than in the mature. It is more acceptable in first, casual meetings than in more familiar circles of friends. It also requires a bit of finesse if the flirter is not to appear cheap.

In contrast, there are no redeeming features about cheating. There can be no justification and no defense, except the feeble one of being driven to it by another's shortcomings. That just reveals more weaknesses of character in the one who cheats and whines as well. The cheat demeans bonds that have been created with one person and has nothing of value to offer to another.

Flirts should at most be advised to be careful. Cheats should be deeply ashamed of themselves. However, the chances are that they both will keep on doing what they're doing and care little for the opinions of others. They are out for their own cheap thrills, when all is said and done.

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