by Claudia Windal

Created on: February 02, 2009

Despite the media that has brought us "stories from the other side" and tales of near death experiences, we still do not know with any certainty, what death will be like for us. I believe that we have all feared death sometime during our lives. Many of us believe that we have so much for which to live and we don't want to imagine that being denied us by death. Many of us live our lives as if we will live forever: smoking, drinking too much, driving recklessly, engaging in dangerous occupations and/or recreation and other means of risk taking. We don't want to think about death; we're not ready for death yet.

Religious teachings have not made it easy for us to consider death. From our early days of Sunday school, many of us learned of a God who punished those who did not follow God's ways. This punishment was having our souls confined in the fires of hell for eternity. I can still remember the Sisters who taught me catechism and who described eternity as somewhat like one grain of sand on a never ending beach. Of course I couldn't begin to imagine that, but it certainly seemed like a long time to be suffering in hell!

I wonder if we don't fear serious illness more than we fear death. As a hospice nurse, I visit with people every day who have been told that their medical condition will most likely limit their life to about six months. Now, they are faced head on with death. Of course, some of these folks become even more fearful of death; no longer is it "something out there" but it is within their reach and experience. As their disease progresses, most of the people with whom I've worked, talk about their impending deaths. They realize that this is their only way out of the pain of their disease. They don't talk much about hell, but rather, they focus on the love of God surrounding them and many, quote from the Book of Revelation which pictures heaven as a place where there will be no more pain.

There appears to me to be a correlation between age and fear of death. Many elderly people relate to family members and others that they con't understand why God "has not taken" them yet. They have lost much of their independence. They take more medications that they ingest food. Their eye sight and hearing become diminished. Many of them are not able to drive any longer and they feel confined to their homes or nursing homes and they struggle to identify a purpose for their lives.

I believe that there are many factors that influence whether or not we fear death. As we support

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