by Whalehead King

Created on: February 01, 2009

Boston is a polyglot city where tongues wag and press the soft palate and lips and teeth in every variation. Though situated in Massachusetts, Boston's citizens were born all over the globe. They moved here by choice and they choose to speak as they are accustomed, that is to say, freely and unashamed. You're not in an inbred hinterland when you are in Boston. You are in a world-class metropolis where people of all stripes and walks of life mingle, jostle, press the flesh, and communicate without impediment. Boston is cosmopolitan and accents of all inflections are heard on the streets and they are accepted for the ideas they express. This is a thinking person's city, not a caricature.

If you want to be a rube, you can come to Boston and drop your 'r's. You can order 'chowdah.' Go ahead. No one will notice and no one will mind as long as you pay for your soup. Bostonians have better things to do than measure your pronunciation. They are more interested in what you have to say. Boston is known as the Athens of America, it is an agora where ideas get traded in the marketplace. It is known as the Hub of the Universe and here is why: Civilization with a capitol 'C' is what makes Boston revolve. When you step off the subway in Cambridge and jokingly tell your companions you are "in Havahd Squawah," there are serious students packed in dormitory rooms for miles trying to solve the world's problems and push the present into a brighter future.

The Boston accent is real. I hear it every day, but it isn't a joke or an affectation. The way people talk in Boston has more to do with how they form words than it does with how they string them together. If you don't speak Bostonian, no one will mock you. If you find yourself in Boston, the natives and transplants will welcome you if you have something to say. In Boston, it is best to be yourself. That is how you will be judged. A Bostonian can spot a phony three, meandering blocks away. You can't fake honesty and that is all any Bostonian asks from any speaker.

Sidle up to a fellow pedestrian and chew the fat about the cityscape. You can talk about whatever you like. The chances are your companion grew up on another continent. If you are from Oklahoma or West Virginia, you don't need to worry about fitting in and you shouldn't try. You will fit in. If you like Boston and say so, you will have the right accent. If you don't like Boston, you'll have plenty of company. Just don't talk about sports.

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