by Shannon S. Harwell

Created on: February 01, 2009

If your child is scared of school, there must be a reason. "Scared of school" is the same concept as feeling fear, and in order to feel fear, there must be a threat of some kind that is affecting your child's perception of the school environment. There are many reasons why your child may feel scared, afraid, or threatened; it doesn't necessarily have to be the school experience itself. There could be any or a combination of various factors causing your child to be afraid. Your job is to get to the root of the problem and find solutions together.

Generally, there are two behaviors that will let you know if your child is afraid of school: the child either directly acts out in some way when school time approaches (such as crying, defiance, or telling you outright that there is a problem at school and he doesn't want to go) or indirectly shows signs of fear (such as frequent non-obvious illness or serious procrastinating in preparing to leave for school). If your child shows any of these signs only at school times but rarely during non-school times like vacation or weekends, fear is likely the culprit.

So what should a parent do when these school avoidance symptoms happen? And equally important, what should a parent not do? The best approach is a calm and communicative one. Rather than simply order, "You're going to school and that's final!", you should take time with your child to talk and find the root of the problem. Once you know why there is fear, you should help the child in finding a solution that will make the child more feel calm and comfortable returning to school, knowing that the problem will be eliminated and that mom or dad is there to support him.

There are a variety of reasons a child will avoid school out of fear. Some are age-related, while others could be peer- or academic-related. Here are some common, open-ended questions to ask your child that will let him open up and trust you, knowing that together, you will fix the problems so he can enjoy going back to school without fear:

1. Young children: Children who are experiencing fear or anxiety about going to school and who are pre-school, kindergarten, or first grade aged may well be experiencing separation anxiety or fear of the unknown. Ask your child questions like, "Why are you feeling this way?" and "Is it because you think you will miss me during the day?" If the answer is yes, there are great solutions to this problem that will allow your child to feel protected and safe, thereby smoothing

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