by Cathy Mcclellan

Created on: February 01, 2009

"If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all"! This describes me to a T! I am here to tell you right now that things just happen to me and even after all these years, I still don't know why!

An especially bad day happened in 1990. It was a Saturday, beautiful day! My kids were 7 and 9 years old. Busy life to say the least!

On this particular day, my husband had to go to work and my IN-LAWS were coming! I had a million things to do and to top it off my husband wanted me to mow the grass so the lawn would look pretty for his parents. How dare he!

But, like a ninny, I said OK. I know how to mow, had done it for years. Someone had given us an old, weird looking lawn mower and my husband wanted to make sure I knew how to check the oil! This particular mower had a long clear glass where you checked the oil. Since I was half listening to my husband (i knew perfectly well how to add oil!) when it came time to mow, I checked the oil. And of course, it needed oil. I got out the oil and started pouring. And pouring. Huh, this mower takes a lot of oil.

When it had finally reached halfway up the glass tube, I figured that was enough. Since I didn't have a dipstick, that must be full, but boy it takes a lot of oil.

Well, it didn't want to start but I got it started and took off mowing. The longer I mowed, the smokier it got! I looked like a bug exterminator out there! Then it died! And I was only half through! My husband is going to kill me!

Fortunately, the elderly neighbor gentleman took pity on me and came over and finished mowing with his shiny new riding mower. Why couldn't we have one of those!

When the neighbor left, I took off to the store to buy groceries for the IN-LAWS and the barbecue. I decided to pick up a cake mix and make my wonderful neighbor and his wife a cake!

As soon as I got home, put up the groceries and cleaned house, I started in making the cake. I put the butter in the old but dependable microwave to melt and as I was waiting for it to melt, SUDDENLY, the microwave blew up! It caught on fire! What a mess!

I finally got everything cleaned up, made the cake and popped it in the oven. I decided to run take my shower while the cake was cooking to save time. The IN-LAWS will be here soon.

After my shower, I went to take the cake out of the oven and the oven door wouldn't open. This stove, also old, had a lock on the door for oven cleaning. I did not touch it but my little devil on my shoulder must have! I couldn't get the cake out! No matter what I did, that darn door was not going to open! So much for my cake!

Needless to say my kids were nowhere to be found at this point! They knew when to stay out of mom's way! I just sat down with a Dr. Pepper and a few cigarettes and proceeded to rant and rave about my day.

Well, the day passed, all was calm for a change. My husband got home, I got the kids cleaned up and soon the IN-LAWS arrived. We had a really good greeting and they brought fresh vegetables for us. What a treat! This was a year I didn't put in a garden.

I should never have thought the day would end on a good note! No, not me!

Anyway, later we were all gathered outside barbecuing hamburgers on the grill and having a really good time. My husband is usually the cook outside but this night, I volunteered to do it so he could spend time with his parents.

I was standing at the grill, had just finished turning the burgers and still had the spatula in my hand, when a june bug (I detest junebugs!) landed on my forehead! Oh God!

Yep, you got it. I slapped that old june bug with the spatula! Hard!

Yes, I had a shiner!

"If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!"

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