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There is usually an alternative solution to any problem that we make, and we often don't think of how we choose one solution over another. We can and do make decisions lightly, procrastinate, or allow others to make them for us. We also make wise and unwise decisions. How we decide on something today is usually based on how we made our choices in the past. If in the past, we got solutions, impulsively, without thinking about the impact of our decisions, then that will be our pattern for future decision-making. On the overhand, when we weight our resolutions and think about the consequences that they have on ourselves and others, we still realize that someone may get hurt. However, we don't feel as bad, since we did all we could prevent possible pain.

Also, in the past, our decision-making was often based on what others might think of us: being liked, accepted, or applauded. We couldn't, of course, make very sound decisions when the idea of being liked was stronger than finding the right solution. Even when we did think of how our decisions affected others or ourselves, it often took longer to choose rightly, when our thoughts were filled with the possibility of rejection. At such a time, we hesitated, because we wanted to escape the pain of being rebuffed; it is not easy to make sound decisions under those circumstances. However, as we mature, we learn to accept the negative responses that often come when don't allow others to choose for us.

When we shirk our responsibility by passively letting other lead us, if is only our fault when things go wrong. We can't blame them or get too angry. We gave our power to decide to someone else. We didn't trust our ability to think it through. We didn't believe that we were capable of doing it, but we are able. We just need to step up and assume control. We have to see the outcome, now someone else.

Decisions are how we arrive at conclusions about issue in our lives. They can be trivial: declare our major as algebra or English; wear a white dress or a black one to the party; grape or strawberry jelly on our peanut butter sandwich. Our decisions can also be more serious: visit our mother at the hospital or go to a friend's wedding; be a doctor or a musician; marry or stay single. Every day we solve problems by weighing our options.

We make decisions because we have to; it is part of having convictions, values, social commitments, and/or legal obligations. No matter how we arrive at conclusions, we must think of others, because our decisions often affect them. Even, when we refuse to risk rejection, good or bad, it is still our decision. It is we who choose.

Learn more about this author, JB Davis-King.
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