by Rebecca Dyson

Created on: February 01, 2009

So you are going to leave your children with a babysitter. Suddenly simple things become a potential concern. What about the house rules? Can the parents expect the babysitter to enforce the same house rules that the parents do? To a degree, perhaps. But it is important to remember that the babysitter does not live with your particular house rules on a daily basis and thus will potentially have difficulty in knowing, much less enforcing all of them.

To avoid behavior that conflicts with the standard house rules, parents should sit down before the babysitter arrives and decide what the house rules will be when the babysitter is in charge. Safety and security rules will obviously not be adjusted. It may be possible, though, to relax some of the daily rules. If there are rules you are adamant about, make sure the babysitter knows them. Write them down as well - it is not always easy to remember everything.

The babysitter is only going to be in charge for a short period of time. Parents need to figure out what the babysitter will have to deal with and arrange the rules around those tasks. For example, dinner and bedtime. Are the children allowed to eat snacks in front of the TV? If this is not a usual treat and you are amenable, you might consider allowing it when the babysitter is there. Cuddling on a blanket and eating popcorn while watching a good movie can be a great bonding experience for the children and the babysitter.

Bedtime with a babysitter is often different than bedtime on a regular night at home. It might be a treat for the children to get to stay up a little later when they have a babysitter. Making bedtime a special time can also help alleviate potential refusing to go to bed issues. It is often scary for a child when the parent is gone and someone else is putting them to bed. Staying up a bit later can alleviate the problem quite effectively.

House rules such as cleaning up after oneself should generally not be adjusted, unless you want to come to a house that looks like a tornado hit it. The children should still wash their faces, put on pajamas, and brush their teeth. They should still do their chores if they have ones assigned to them.

Relaxing some rules, however, will make the time with the babysitter a "special time" and that will likely equate to happier children and happier babysitter. If the children know they get to do special things when the babysitter comes, they will be less likely to make the parents feel guilty about leaving them.

Flexibility is the key. Children won't be damaged if the house rules aren't followed all the time. Just make sure they understand that the rules are different only when the babysitter comes and is a "special treat".

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