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Have you ever grown apart from a friend and only years later regained that missing link between the two of you? For some people this type of situation isn't very uncommon, but is it healthy to rediscover a forgotten friendship after several years?

It is in my opinion that reuniting with a friend after several years, let alone 15 years is a very dangerous thing. People may reunite with High School friends for years after leaving, but typically only catch up with them and leave, only not to speak to those people till the next year.

With an old friend, there is much more of a connection, and that friend may become offended over the lose of contact between you two in the first place. If that person isn't your friend anymore then there is probably a reason, such as relocating or a fall out over members of the opposite sex.

Even if that person wants to become friends again, keep in mind that it is highly unlikely that the two of you still enjoy the same things and can maintain a friendship with your new busy lives. People change as they grow older and 15 years is a very long time, the two of you may be totally different people then when you first met.

Personally I've had old friends contact me via Myspace only to discover that they are totally different. Messages were sent back and forth only to discover that our friendship had turned very awkward, and there was no point in trying to reunite.

Additionally you never know if that friend moved on in a way that they started to despise everything about the past friendships they had. Some people do this when they are trying to make themselves feel better about losing a friend in the past.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of your friend when considering contacting them via Myspace or Facebook. Imagine yourself being at home surfing the Internet, and you discover a friend that went off to college in some other state without telling you suddenly messaged you.

Surely if that event had happened you would be very offended when they try to contact you 15 years later. The lose of a friend is never easy, and knowing that a friend abandoned you is even worse. Above all else, don't attempt to contact old girlfriend or boyfriends, however that is a whole different can of worms when it comes to unhealthy things to do.

My ideals may seem to be cruel, but believe me living in the past isn't a good thing all the time. People have to move on, and dwelling on things is unhealthy. That doesn't mean that if an old friend has approached you, that trying out friendship is forbidden.

If you believe that trying out friendship once more is the correct thing to do for this situation, then by all means give it a shot. However you should be careful, feelings could be hurt easily, and they are most likely not the same person as they were 15 years ago.

On the flip side you never know, they may have grown and matured in the same way that you have and it could be like gaining a brand new friend instead of regaining an old one. If you would like to attempt to look for an old friend on Myspace/Facebook or other social networks, try sending them a message to see if they still remember you.

Learn more about this author, Matt Remley.
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