by Stephanie Epplett

Created on: January 30, 2009   Last Updated: August 22, 2009

Family plays an important role in the life of a child and the more involved the family, the better off the child can be, but does that mean it's best to rely on or only have family members babysit your child? Before you choose whether or not to have family watch your child, take into consideration a few of the pros and cons that come with family sitters.

Having a family member babysit can offer many pros from cost savings to familiarity and flexibility. These same pros if abused can become huge cons.

Family members will often babysit for less money or free. In a tight economy saving money on child-care anyway you can is often very helpful to the family budget.

While your family may often sit for no money, if you are not careful you can abuse this privlige causing your parents or in-laws to feel used and taken advantage of. They too have lives and if you ask them to sit every weekend for free, eventually you will create hard feelings that will have a negative outcome on your entire family.

Family members also can offer familiarity to your child. In most cases, the child and the family caregiver already have a bonded relationship. This can make it much easier to leave your child and much easier for the child being left in their care. There is less likelihood of emotional drama or temper tantrums when the child is being watched by Aunt Kay or Grandma Mimi than there is when your co-workers daughter they have never met shows up.

However; being too familiar can also have negative consequences. Chances are your older siblings know their younger ones about as well as you do. If you aren't careful and ask or expect the older child to constantly watch the younger ones, eventually your older sibling will become resentful and stop being involved with their siblings while they are in charge. You want the children to be entertained and interacted with not ignored.

Family members are also more likely to be flexible with sitting. It is often easier to get a family member to babysit at the last minute, than it is to get the neighbor girl. The neighbor girl may already have plans and may not be willing to cancel that long awaited date! Your family members will be more willing to cancel their plans and are much more patient when your night-out runs longer than planned. Your mother is going to be much more understanding if you get caught in traffic or have to wait in a long line or just want to spend more quality time with your spouse. Your co-worker and her child may not be as understanding if you run an hour past the time you said you would be home.

While it is true your family may be more understanding and flexible with sitting times, they can also become frustrated and resentful if you abuse their generosity too often. While your mother may understand the need to extend your date night, she may also lecture you on responsibility when you get home, after all she may be sitting for your child, but she is still your mother.

Having family sit for your children is never a bad idea, just be careful to always show appreciation and respect to your family members. It's also important to refrain from abusing the loving generosity that only family can provide to you and your child when you need to rely on a sitter.

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