The evening has come to a close. She is bursting inside to be alone with her love. She has tucked in their children and locked up the house. Her heart was so full of affection it was going to beat out of her chest. She snuggled in next to him and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. She eagerly pressed her body against his and nuzzled up to his ear. As she lay there so many times before thinking to herself, kiss me please kiss me, touch me. His response was nothing. She gently stroked his arm and his face and gave him a kiss on the neck. She waited again, heart pounding, hoping for a response. Perhaps a kiss? Please kiss me and again nothing.
The rejection she felt at that moment was unexplainable. She just lay their starring at him wondering why? She just wanted him to pay attention to her. Maybe she's not attractive to him anymore? Why can't he love her, want her, touch her like he use to. She wanted him to feel for her what she has felt for him since the day they met, so many years ago. She was beginning to feel like a bother. She almost felt like she had to beg for attention. This wasn't the first time this scenario had occurred. It was just a vicious cycle in their relationship. The more she wanted him and tried to please him the more he pushed her away.
This is the point when desperation sets in. This is the point when something must be done. She felt as if she had no other choice but to react. Have you ever loved someone so much that it affects your ability to function? The mind is a funny thing. It causes things to swim in and out of it telling truths and lies all in the same. It has a tendency to make you believe you can get away with things. The hurt, rejection, and pure desperation causes many to snap. It's almost like an explosion going off.
This woman believes she may have never murdered her husband that night had he only shown her an ounce of affection. Why couldn't he have responded to her advances? He could have held her or even spoke to her. Anything would have been better than nothing at all. These are all questions she asked herself over and over again.
The cell is cold and often terrifying. She will never forgive herself for what she has done to her children. In a moment of desperation her entire life has changed. If she could only have controlled her animosity. The sudden impulses that allowed her to kill have destined her own life. Desperation was surely the end of her life and his.