by Christy Tanner

Created on: January 29, 2009

Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Not always. When kids are accustomed to being around mom or dad constantly, it can be difficult to adjust to being left with new people. Children can develop a fear that their parents may never return; in future instances that harbored fear can be manifested in the form of a tantrum. In children, separation anxiety is a very real emotion that can be emotionally damaging to both the parent and the child.

Although many parents won't admit it, quite a few mothers and fathers appreciate the evidence of their child's love for them when she doesn't want him or her to leave. However, the emotional distress it causes in parents to see their offspring experiencing such sorrow far outweighs the reassurance they received. Although separation anxiety is common in children who are being left in a new environment, children who experience separation anxiety for extended periods of time, beyond the first few days or a week, can also start developing more extensive issues including nightmares, sleeplessness, headaches, upset stomachs, and poor digestion. It is important to take these steps to reduce the effects and the length of separation anxiety:

Explanation

A week before a child is scheduled to begin an activity where separation anxiety can be anticipated, such as beginning school, mothers-day-out, having a new babysitter, or enrolling in group activities, parents should make a point of explaining why this new activity has been chosen and how it will be fun and exciting. Parents can explain the process of meeting new friends and learning new things. They should mention that they will not be there the whole time but that they will stay for a little while to join in some of the fun. Parents should not use phrases such as, "don't be scared", "it won't be too bad", or "please try not to cry." These phrases will often have the opposite of the intended effect and will cause children to think there is reason to be scared or to cry.

Visitation

A day or two before the intended event, it is a good idea to take the child to the location of the new event or to meet the person who will be taking care of them. This initial visit will help ease some of the reservations the child may be experiencing. If there are new toys or other children engaging in fun activities, the child may begin to look forward to the new event with anticipation instead of trepidation. It also helps the child to see his or her parent interacting pleasantly with the adult who will

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