by Barb Jackson

Created on: January 29, 2009

Oh the magical age of 16 when many parents say they will allow their teens to date. So I ask, why is age so important? On their 16th birthday did our children all of a sudden become ready to date? As a Mom of a 16 year old and 18 girls, I have been down this road before, and believe that it is our responsibility to guide, educate and prepare our children for adulthood.

Dating takes many shapes and forms as chilrend grow up, whether it be holding hands, the occasional kiss, going out in groups or even one on one dating in cars. All children mature at different ages and to attach an arbitrary age to dating is not giving our children the credit they deserve. I know some teenagers that are responsible and mature enough at 13 to have a dating relationship and i know some adults at 30 that still cannot successfully navigate a relationship.

As a parent, my rules with my girls have always revolved around respect, honesty and safety. When I felt they were capable of understanding these guidelines I have allowed them additional responsibilities and freedoms. If I did not think my girls would be honest with me then the leash would be short. If they didn't learn to respect others and respect themselves, they were not ready to date. And if they did not understand how to be safe whether it be with sex, drinking, driving or drugs, they were not ready to date. For me it was learning respect, honesty and safety that guided their freedoms, not some "magical age."

My 16 yr old daughter had her first real boyfriend at 13, and I'm happy to say they are still together, and very much in love over 3 yrs later, and we consider him a part of the family now. Sure as a Mom I was nervous about her first boyfriend and it's always stressful as we learn our little girls are growing up. But I also realized that entering the dating world, even at that age, would be a learning and maturing experience for her. The first few months of their "dating" was mostly movies or hanging out at our house or his house playing games or doing homework. Sure there was the hand holding and arms around each other at times, and even the occasional quick kiss when they didn't think anyone was watching.

It was interesting to me watching their relationship mature the longer they were together. They both understood the need to maintain their own set of friends but also to balance these friends with their own relationship. And it was rewarding for me as a Mom to see how well they communicated and talked about school, sports,

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